Everything went wrong today. Advice needed.

[AdivingBel]

How about go do some easy dives. You're in FL, right? Take a trip to the coast. Go to the Keys. Find a nice friendly rec boat and go enjoy a shallow reef. Lot's of viz, warm water, no wet suit, no lugging the gear, no complex dive planning, forget the drills for a few dives. Make life easy and share the beauty with your buddy. Meet other divers. Go have an adult beverage after the dive. Catch some rays... You know, have some FUN. Make some GOOD memories, then go do drills, put the ill-fitting wetsuit back on, hit the springs or whatever type of diving is handy and keep the positive attitude.

 

[Gareth J]

beachbummer28. Buddy with your spouse but I would caution to not buddy only with your spouse. Eric and I only dove together or basically solo for years. Looking back, I think that in some ways it limited my experiences. I encourage you to also buddy with others when appropriate, and I don't mean group dives.

tbone. Going over the top here. She is definitely not ready for doubles and that is really what you are talking about with SM. And I wish that 72's were as readily available here, and as cheap, as they seem to be elsewhere. But Florida probably is a good place to find them.

Gearing up. Much of my shore diving has been Bonaire and as KevinNM mentioned, the best option there is gearing up on the truck tailgate. Same for BHB in WPB. That may also be a viable option for the OP as well at the Florida springs if they own a truck. Otherwise it means getting the gear from the truck to the picnic table in most cases. If it's far a hand cart might be a viable option in the same ways as it is in SM but you will not be transporting to the water but to the table. If they gets a bin they might also be able to strap it own and load with much of the other items as well.

Another thought to BB. If you are like me you are probably insisting on schlepping your own gear. Forget that. At least for the heavy stuff. Let him help. You can help in other ways that you are better at.

A lot of sensible points here.
1. If you can, dive with different buddies, you learn different things and it stops bad habits.
2. Share the carrying.
3. Remember, heavy work and heavy exercise after diving are contributors to DCI, share the lifting!
4. Whilst on the subject of DCI, don't forget to drink plenty of fluids especially in hot climates where you are dehydrating.

Gareth

 

[Lorenzoid]

. . . Maybe eventually I'll get to the point where I don't really need to nail down what we're doing on a extremely simple dive, but for now it would help. . . .
. . . We also discussed what we were going to do before we did the mini dive, although we didn't think of it as "dive planning" at the time even though that's what it was - "Let's go down to the cave entrance, take some pictures, go through some of the loops and cool swimthrough thingys, practice some skills, and then surface." I did not feel any urge whatsoever to talk or surface during this 30-minute mini dive, I guess because I knew what we were doing down there. Thanks for asking that because I hadn't even thought about the fact that I didn't want to surface and ask what we were doing on that mini dive because we had already talked about it beforehand.

I think going over what you plan to do on even the shallowest, clearest spring dive helps develop it as a habit. What you said you discussed before the mini-dive is exactly the kind of discussion I would expect to have before that kind of dive. Get in the habit of discussing SOME plan, however trivial it may seem in a given instance, and then as you progress in your diving start adjusting how much you discuss to suit the "complexity" of the dive.

 

[Neilwood]

As Lorenzoid has said a dive plan is a good idea but I don't think they need to be overly complex.

For my last OW water dive the plan was as simple as "Surface swim to the marker buoy, descend, follow the reef out, check out the lobsters/fish, turn at 120 Bar or at the swimthrough at the end of the reef, surface with 50 Bar and swim back on the surface". Took 15 secs to discuss.

For me I would reckon there are only a few things needing mentioned unless you are doing a hugely complicated dive or conditions are bad:
1) Turn pressure
2) Turn time - if not gas limited
3) What are you going to do while under? Follow the reef out, and back? Take a few photos?
4) Are we doing any skills practise? If so, when (safety stop?)?

 

[archer1960]

Thanks for all the responses! I'm glad this thread is helping some other newbies out and I'm not the only one who is a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing. My husband and I of course signed up for our OW cert because diving seemed (and is!) awesome and fun and exciting, but then you get into it and for some of us, it's like ... there is a whooooole lot more to this than I originally thought and it's making me anxious as hell. I'm an impatient person and I have never stopped and caught my breath after carrying all of our gear down to the site, suiting up, etc. - it has just been a hurried "let's go, let's go, I'm so annoyed to be standing here in the 100+ degree heat in Florida in this tight wetsuit!" :biggrin: I think catching my breath and re-grouping, talking through the dive, understanding where we'll be going and what we'll be doing when we go under will definitely help (all done before wiggling into the wetsuit, obviously). Most of my anxiety is wrapped up in not understanding where we're going, how long we'll be at a certain depth, if we're going to do the strict "side by side / 3 second" rule in regards to the buddy system or if this is an easy enough dive that I don't need to panic if he drifts away to take pictures while I look at this thing over here, etc. In the past we haven't talked through any of that because we're just so excited to get in and explore, but on each dive we've done (all two of them - hah!), it has made me pretty anxious to not know these things while we're down there. What can I say, I'm a planner. I don't even like surprises above water, so surprises underwater are especially unwelcomed lol.

QUOTE]

Beachbummer

I think you've got the bit about planning.

The little section above about being hot and just getting on with it. As I and others have said, take a break between the carrying and putting the kit together before you get in. i.e. you want to start the dive as relaxed as you can.

...

Gareth

One thing that the groups I dive with tend to do that I like on shore dives, is that once people are kitted up, they wade out into the water to waist or chest deep, and just hang out there while the rest of the group finishes getting ready. It's much cooler than waiting on shore in the sun, lets you start working the air out of your wet suit which makes the initial descent easier, you paddle around a bit on the surface to check the vis, make sure your fins are on correctly, your mask straps are correct, etc, and you can generally get psyched up for going out. It's quite relaxing and a nice mental and physical preparation. The dive briefing is done once everybody is gathered around the DM in the water.

 

[CT-Rich]

I think a modified caddy could be had for cheap. Personally I buy black plastic bins from Home Depot or Lowes and use them as wet boxes. It varies a bit depending on the situation, but the boxes are considered wet. All my gear goes in them and to move them I carry one side my buddy the other if they are to even leave the car. I gear up at the car ( I put a towel over the trunk since I drive a POS sedan) and hike to the water. If you are wearing a wet suit, pour water inside it after you get suited up. That does a nice job of cooling me down (repeat as necessary). If I have a good distance to go, I will do multiple trips (gear w/o lead, lead and tank(s) I usually like to have the mass balanced Tank and tank or tank and lead). After a while the tangle of stuff disappears. Because you are new it seems like a lot, but once you find the rhythm. The gear isn't complicated. Just keep diving. The last dive of the season will come together and you will wonder what was stressing you out. At the End of the dive everything goes int the boxes but the tanks and the lead. When I get home the whole box comes out of the car and straight to hose for rinsing right in the box. Let it drain o/n on a patio chair , suits and BCD get hung up and everything else goes back in the box for the next dive (I toss the BCD and wetsuit on top of the rest). The only thing I had trouble with was teaching the kids that things in the box WILL get wet. After not having a towel once or twice, they got the idea. This makes hauling gear a lot easier. I haven't used a dive bag in ages.

 

[CamG]

Beachbummer28 welcome to diving and most of all keep your head up!
All these issues can be overcome.
So many new divers have this experience the best way to avoid this is to get involved with a dive club / local active diving group.
In OW you learned 18 basic skills possibly a few more mastery takes time and practice.
Planning your dive and diving your plan starts before you ever touch any gear.
Take your time, do not allow anyone to hurry or rush any dive.
Calm, clear communication above water will help reduce the anxiety below.

Ive dove with my wife in the beginning of my diving and we went through the same issues.
We got involved with a dive club and stayed active diving around training classes which made working on skills even easier.
Mastery of skills, proper weighting / buoyancy, proper trim, finning technique all come with time and practice.
You will have rough dives, some will be horrible but learn from them.
Diving is a commitment for perfectionists, we demand perfection in our execution learn to see small improvements and not so many failures.
Difficult but far more productive.

My next advice is to buy your own gear.
It will not only ensure you have the proper fit but also a commitment to diving more!
This being said you don't have to buy new but you do need to get gear that fits and is in good working order.
I would find a shop that you trust, get involved with a dive club, seek your own gear, then go dive!
You can learn many things from older divers who have more experience.
Never discount the mentorship from a skilled experienced diver.

CamG

 

[beachbummer28]

Hi! OP here. I promise to not bump this thread every time I dive, but I did want to give one update since sometimes I wish people had come back with an update when I search for old threads like this. We did another dive today and it went great with no prolonged anxiety and no need to surface! The primary changes we made were to:

(1) talk through a dive plan beforehand,
(2) come up with a specific signal for "I'm having anxiety" and hold hands for a minute or so while just breathing (I noticed during our OW cert when our instructor held onto my arm firmly during an exercise that my buddy having a grip on me calms any rising panic, for whatever reason)
(3) take a breather after unloading gear and not rush so much,
(4) take a minute after the initial descent and just get adjusted instead of immediately taking off.

I only had to use the "I'm having anxiety" signal once and it was shortly after the initial descent; we had problems tying off the dive buoy due to strong current, and viz was only about 5 feet for the entire dive. Being able to give a signal that "I'm physically okay but my heart is racing" was great because my husband just grabbed my hand, made eye contact, we took a few deep breaths together, and I was good to go. We also learned that we need an additional signal for, "That SOB jellyfish stung me and it f-ing hurts" (heh) and, on a more serious note, a signal that one of us is going to check the other one's tank. Towards the end of the dive my husband was behind me and noticed my tank was slipping, so he grabbed me by the tank to tighten it ... but I thought I was caught on something since I couldn't feel that he had grabbed me. I tried to twist and the more I twisted, the firmer he held me in place by my tank. (When we talked about it later he said, "Yeah, I just thought you were spinning around for some weird reason" and we laughed, but I let him know - I'm pretty much never going to wildly spin around under water just for kicks, lol.) In all the confusion with my arms flailing to try to see if my alternate was caught on something, I accidentally ripped my own reg out of my mouth. Thankfully that was a wake up call for me at that moment to calm down and STOP FLAILING, and I was able to calmly replace it without issue. By that time my husband had fixed my tank and I figured out that I wasn't actually caught on anything, but that little learning lesson resulted in us coming up with another signal for "I'm going to check your tank, turn around".

Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions and, most importantly, encouragement. I built a lot of my lost confidence back today and we had fun despite the bad visibility and numerous jellyfish stings. We can't wait to dive again next weekend and now we understand that some dives may suck and that's normal, but the good dives make it worth it.

 

[bryanmc57]

In all the confusion with my arms flailing to try to see if my alternate was caught on something, I accidentally ripped my own reg out of my mouth. Thankfully that was a wake up call for me at that moment to calm down and STOP FLAILING, and I was able to calmly replace it without issue.

Remember, stop, think, act. If you actually were entangled, flailing would likely worsen the situation, not make it better. Just keep doing what you're doing, you'll get more comfortable with every dive, as well as becoming more trusting of your buddy. Tell him next time he wants to adjust your gear underwater to give you a "hold" signal first so you know what's coming.

 

[dumpsterDiver]

Thanks for the update. Sounds like things went much better. When you think you are able, you should practice underwater tank/bc remove and replace. Do it in shallow water without a lot of current..

Learning how to remove the tank, check for entanglements, fix/cut them and then replacing tank - all without ANY help from a buddy will make you a more confident and safe diver. After you've done this several times, over many dives, you will know that even if you get really tangled up AND you buddy swims off.. you can still handle the situation on your own..

As for signals... you husband should have signaled for you to STOP and HOLD position, then conspicuously went behind your back and worked on your gear.. You might have been worried, but you would have known to remain calm and still. Going behind your back without your knowledge and then man-handling you was unwise and unnecessary. Tank cam bands coming loose is a rather common "scuba failure" and you will probably see it many times.. So next time... the two of you will be able to handle this minor problem without any drama..

FYI.. I don't really know what the official scuba signals are but an open palm in your face would be a good signal to STOP, followed with a fist held extended.. means HOLD to me.. Maybe you would have figured that out; maybe not?