Everything went wrong today. Advice needed.

[beachbummer28]

Maybe someone out there in scubaboard land has advice that will help after my disaster of a dive today. My husband and I are newly OW certified divers and a few weeks ago we did our first "real" dive by ourselves. It was a shore dive on a fairly shallow (15 - 20 feet) artificial reef and it was amazing! The only hiccup was that we weren't really communicating very well underwater and weren't staying side by side, so there was some frustration there and I surfaced mid-way through. I didn't have to surface but I felt anxious not being able to talk underwater, so I did anyway. I posted here about it and people gave really good suggestions and encouragement that diver/buddy communication is something that improves with time.

So today we did our second dive, at a local spring. We were both really excited and everything was fine starting out. I admit that I hate the gear hauling part of diving, mainly because I'm a 5'4", 115 pound female and everything is heavy as hell. (No, I don't want any cheese with my whine, thanks anyway. :d) So our dives usually start out with the gear part kinda sucking, but once we're in the water everything is awesome. Today that was not the case.

We got there, geared up, and everything was still okay. I was a little anxious because we had to rent gear from a new place and the quality sucked compared to our usual dive shop. It was usable though so okay, whatever. We get in the water, descend down to about 40 feet to look at a cave entrance, and we're having fun. My husband was trying to work on his buoyancy for a few minutes after this and I thought he was having problems, but after surfacing and asking each other, I figured out he was just working on skills. (Yes, I thumbed the dive just to surface and immediately exclaim, "WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!" Prooooooobably should have talked through those anxious feelings creeping in at that point in time before going back down, but hindsight is 20/20.) So we go back down and wander around. At one point he signals to share air (just practicing), and I give him my alternate except he can't breathe through it. He immediately shakes his head and switches back to his reg, and now I'm worried. He signals okay to me though and I breathe out of it and everything is fine, so I don't know what happened. I'm now reminded of the uneasy fact that we can't TALK underneath water, and I'm worried about the quality of the gear. After this he signals that he'll follow me, knowing that I want to explore more. Okay, great. The only problem is that I don't know anything about this spring and have no clue where I'm going, so I kind of just wander aimlessly. At one point we end up in 4 feet of water and I'm thinking, "Maybe it gets deeper again? We'll keep going?" My husband surfaces and frustratingly says, "We're in 4 feet of water. It just stays 4 feet and you can float down it." So now I'm annoyed at everything - not knowing where I'm going, the crappy gear, the tank that's sitting too high on my back and keeps hitting me in the head when I glance up, the brand new wetsuit I'm wearing for the first time that really isn't that great of a fit and feels like it's choking me, the fact that spring diving is now quite boring to me after ocean diving, the fact that I'm super stressed at work right now and diving is supposed to be a FUN outlet but I wasn't having fun, EVERYTHING. In a normal situation I would have been able to talk myself back down but I couldn't today for some reason. Everything just piled on and before I knew it, it was a full-blown anxiety thing. I irritably descended and quickly realized I didn't even have my reg in my mouth, and shot back up sputtering and feeling like I was going to scream. FROM FOUR FEET OF WATER! We called the dive, headed back home, and now I guess I'm trying to figure out if diving just isn't for me.

I'm trying to nail down my source of anxiety and maybe it comes back to the dive plan, or lack thereof in our case. The past two times we've dove (this time being our second time), we didn't really have a thought-out, vocalized dive plan before we went down. The dive sites were new to us both and we weren't really sure what to expect, so the dive plan consisted of, "Ready? Let's go!" That's about it. I realize now that if we would have talked for 5 minutes and planned to, say, look at the cave entrance for 10 minutes, then work on skills for a few minutes, then map out where we were going to explore to next and who was going to lead, I would have felt better and knew what to expect. I don't know if I would have had the urge to surface to talk and say "where are we going? what are we doing?" if we had had a dive plan. Or hell, I don't know, maybe the lack of a dive plan doesn't bother most people this much and this just isn't for me.

Did anyone else have problems at first with the small little stressors creeping in and causing a really crappy dive? Is it dumb to throw in the towel now and just say "diving isn't for me", or is this not something that happens to people who are made to dive? I feel discouraged and sad because I had a lot of fun on our shore dive, and I want to be able to do this sport. The idea of never going diving again may or may not be making me cry in frustration on this otherwise beautiful Sunday afternoon. Help!

 

[NAM001]

I think that neither of yo can handle winging it right now. You are used to having someone to follow and that you both are followers and not leaders. Do not do drills under water unless your buddy knows its coming. This ink on your card is wetter than you are. If the 2 of you have planned your agenda you probably would have avoided the stress which only makes things worse.

My suggestion is that the 2 of you learn to enjoy diving for a while, and then start taking on (PLANNED) drills ect. Ask you self would you tell your newly licensed child driver to hit the interstate or stay in town or a while. Another thing you have to decide who is leading and who is following. If you dont you have 2 followers and no one leading. By the way the lead responsibility can change through out the dive as each of you find interesting things to explore. I have found that when in your situation is is more important to release leadership than to take it.
If the 2 of you are out and about and he is leading. you signal you want to stop and look at something, signal him and he will most likely turn the dive over to you till you are done and return the lead position back to him. 2 leaders is worse than 2 followers. 2 leaders will go different directions. 2 followers will stay together and get nothing done.

 

[tbone1004]

similar to KWS, so a few suggestions.

If you're going to practice skills such as OOA, you should set a dive plan for "we're going to work on skills", at this point you're green enough that if someone shows an OOA and then says OK, you may not understand what's going on.

So with that, I think I linked this in your previous thread, but I'd highly recommend building a slate like this. It will allow you to safely conduct shore dives because you'll have a compass to head out, then back in, but more importantly it will allow you to write things down and hand the slate back and forth to each other for communication. As with all diving, you need to make sure your hand signals are rock solid. The GUE/tech/cave style one handed communications are short, simple, and easy. OK, Hold, Up, Down, I lead/you follow, you lead/I follow, Question, numbers 0-9, LoA, OoA, pressure, depth, time, compass bearing, buddy-up, repeat. There are a few more dealing with lines, but other than that, that should fix your issues.

In your example above, grab fin tip, squeeze thigh/calf etc, signal hold. This is a command signal so requires a hold to be returned. You then signal buddy up, and the response is an OK and all should be well. For skills, there are signals for all of the standard skills, so buddy signals hold, points to himself, and sgnals the skill he is about to practice. You watch, and upon successful completion of the skill, he signals ok, and if it was ok, you respond back with an OK sign. If it wasn't, you respond with no, and the repeat signal.
For exploring around, signal for "I lead, you follow, OK?" if you're OK with it, then you respond back with either OK, or "you lead, I follow, OK" as an acknowledgement. If you want to lead, you signal hold, and signal "question, I lead, you follow, ok?"

If financials are not much of an issue, I would highly recommend taking a GUE fundamentals class since you're in Florida. What is most important here is that GUE has a huge emphasis on buddy diving, so while the class is designed to be a fundamentals class for diving skills, it also works a lot with communication and how to be a good buddy. It's not the cheapest class, it's not the easiest class *actually it's probably the hardest class the average diver will ever take*, but it will show you how to be a good dive buddy, show you how to safely conduct solo dives, etc.

[video=youtube;x0z4T_3KjFM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0z4T_3KjFM[/video]

 

[beachbummer28]

Thanks to you both! tbone, I did see that in the last thread and I thought "that's exactly what we need", and then stupidly did not get it before our next dive. We did come up with a few more hand signals but we do need to have more and quickly review them before heading off. I knew my husband was practicing when he signaled "share air" since I know him well enough, but if someone else had practiced like that and then my alternate hadn't worked, I would have been really anxious.

Do most new divers have at least one dive in the beginning that is crappy and overwhelming, for whatever reason? It really surprised me because we've been looking forward to it all week, and then it was like too many things went wrong and I couldn't get back into having fun. I almost feel like I would if I got bucked off a horse .... not sure if I should dust off and get back on, or stay away from horses for the rest of my life. Hah! :-/

 

[redacted]

A slate may help in a pinch: Glow Slate Medium 4" X 6" (10.2 x 15.2 cm) SL22

But try not to use it

 

[tbone1004]

I can't remember what you said your initial training was, but assuming you only have PADI OW, you have to remember that by and large, they aren't really training you to conduct dives on your own. It's a point of contention with many of us in the technical community, but the way they have designed their courses are really for you to be diving with a babysitter. People will argue with that statement, and PADI has started evolving slowly but surely, but the fact of the matter is the vast majority of newly certified OW divers aren't adequately prepared to plan and conduct their own dives. Unfortunately if you follow the PADI course progression you'll go through about 6 courses before you are really well prepared.

Like I said in the PM I sent to you, I am not a GUE diver, I don't agree with many of their decisions, especially solo, sidemount, CCR, but for what you are needing, it really sounds like the band aid has to be ripped off, and the best and fastest way to get to the point where you get out of this funk, is to take a fundies course. Whether you pass, fail, provisional, it won't matter, but it's the only way I know of to quickly get you to the point that you'll be comfortable diving as a buddy team and also improve the rest of your skills as a diver. Looks like 10/23 is the next scheduled class in Florida, I would highly recommend you talk to these guys and see if they can help get you back on track where you are comfortable and enjoying your diving. Doug is the mgr at Extreme Exposure so you will be able to rent the requisite gear from them for about $50/day which isn't bad and the course is $650/diver and usually takes 4-5 days. No pressure to continue with GUE, no pressure into cave diving, etc etc, but the only requirements are nitrox certified, non-smoker, have DAN insurance, and reasonably fit. All four are things that you should have if you're diving anyway.
https://www.globalunderwaterexplorers.org/class-details-0&cid=9970

With what AWAP said, yes he is correct, you really shouldn't have to use it, but if it means hovering and passing a slate back and forth vs. surfacing, a slate is a better option. With the right hand signals covered, there isn't a whole lot else that you should need to talk about. I take mine anyway, I'll draw a map of wherever I'm diving on it if needed and it's good for taking notes as far as depth/air/time, etc.

 

[Altamira]

+1 for using a slate. There are several inexpensive dive slate options from your LDS and online retailers if you don't want to make one. It solves a lot of those "What are you trying to tell me?" questions, without having to go to the surface. The one I use has a pencil/pencil holder attached and a clip. I keep mine in a Zeagle pocket that I attached to my bc belt so it is not flopping around. You can probably get by with one slate that you can pass back and forth. Since you seem to be the one with questions more often, you should probably carry it, but remember to pay attention to buoyancy and spatial orientation while you are writing and reading. Also, I use a Magic Erase, found in most grocery stores in the cleaning supply aisle, to clean the slate after each dive.

Another advantage of carrying the slate is you can write down headings, time, landmarks, etc., to help you navigate and stay oriented. I have a compass on my computer console, but if you don't have a compass, a slate with a compass attached is a great idea.

Finally, being new divers, you might find a local dive club where you can find other divers, many of which would be very happy to help you, give advice, and you might even be lucky enough to find a compatible mentor.

 

[uncfnp]

Beachbummer28.

We've all been there. Not every dive will be the best dive ever. Some will just down right suck. But its worth the bad ones for all the great ones. And fortunately the great will vastly out number the bad. Relax. Diving is for fun. The skills will come.

Communication was a problem with Eric and I as well. Eventually we developed a set of common signals and you will too. For me, getting his attention underwater was nearly impossible. You are a step ahead of the game if you don't have that problem. Decide the signals you need most right now. Practice them on land and at unexpected times. And yes, there is a signal for drill.

 

[dmaziuk]

My wife always has pre-dive shakes. Even if we're just doing a gear check in the pool. IIRC on our first "solo" dive out of OW we ended up separated and surfacing some 30m away from each other (on a shallow and perfectly safe beach on Curacao). And she's near-sighted enough she couldn't see me even in her RX mask... So don't feel too bad, you're not alone. From personal experience: the gear on your 20th dive will suck much less and the whole thing will be way less frustrating than it was on the 2nd dive.

 

[NAM001]

every time you have a problem you will resolve that problem. More learning takes place diving that in any class room.