Everything went wrong today. Advice needed.

[phoenix31tt]

Agree that not all signals need to be known to both parties before hand... A combination of basic signals can work for anybody. I was hovering on a dive @ 15' waiting for the dive master when I noticed a diver in the group with her almost completely out just hanging by the valve... So I went over to her and grabbed the tank before it fell out but before I did anything else she spun around and I just gave her the stop/wait signal then pointed to her tank and give the turn around symbol. Fixed the tank for her and all was fine...

Just practice stringing known signals together for greater effect... Most of the times diving with my wife we need to make up new things on the fly


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[bowlofpetunias]

Hi! OP here. I promise to not bump this thread every time I dive, but I did want to give one update since sometimes I wish people had come back with an update when I search for old threads like this. We did another dive today and it went great with no prolonged anxiety and no need to surface! The primary changes we made were to:

Please DO come back and update us on how you are doing. Others are reading these threads and learning from your progression. Thank you for sharing your journey here. I think it is very worthwhile and I for one want to keep updated on how you are going

 

[Storker]

Just practice stringing known signals together for greater effect...

This. Many communication needs are easily solved by combining the basic hand signals. Also, regular buddys learn to read each other's minds after a while. If not, that's what wetnotes or a slate are for (like when, on a guided group dive CF, I asked my buddy what the hand signal for sheep herd was).

I like to wear a slate on my forearm for those occasions. It's easily accessible and never in the way.


--
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Typos are a feature, not a bug

 

[AfterDark]

OP slow down, you two are beginners. Diving is like most other activities / sports it takes time and repetition to get proficient, and the learning never stops. Good dives start with planning. Resources today are plentiful these days and should be taken advantage of for planning. Google Earth is a great resource for dive planning. I’ve been able to find submerged “reefs” that sometimes turn into really nice dive sites. One of the dive clubs I belong even named one those reefs with the club’s name. Also the surrounding landscape can be seen, parking, access to the water, even depths can be judged somewhat by the color of the water, etc.…

Planning the dive involves what is going to be done during the dive and when, especially if drills are going to be done. What drills and when during the dive should be agreed on while buddies can still talk. Writing the drills on a slate and pointing to the slate can be the signal that drill time has started.

Using the knowledge from Google earth the direction of travel during the dive can be planned. Nav skills are important and can be practiced on land although underwater nav is more difficult with limited vis and currents to account for. Writing the directions and drawing the path on a slate before the dive can be very helpful during the dive.

A tank banger can be used to tap signals that you both understand, this is especially useful in low vis, sound direction is tough to determine underwater but a prearranged number of taps could be used to let the “lost” buddy know you are going up and by waiting for a reply you’ll know that your buddy is also going up.

Hand signals can be practiced at home. Set aside a no talk signal time and practice signals both hand and taps.
A husband wife dive team can be the best dive team ever, but it doesn’t come without work and practice.

I’m 61 years old and these days my gear is a lot heavier than it was when I was 20 also the walks are a longer and the climbs are steeper, so I know what mean, and yes I do like cheese!

 

[Jai Bar]

I think slate is bad idea for beginners like in OP. Slate is a distraction for very novice divers who most likely can't keep too well their buoyancy. Combine that with a tendency to talk too much, I don't see any good coming out of this.

I don't know if OP has kept diving since posting- I hope they do. My recommendation for them (and novice divers) is to gain as much experience as possible by diving frequently.

Enjoy the silence and keep communication only for the most relevant and important stuff (i.e. air status etc). After the dive you can share all the "wow! that was wonderful! did you see how many teeth that shark had? Not the little one, the big tiger we saw after meeting the dolphin pod and the manta rays following them".

You can dedicate the last few minutes of the dive after the safety stop to make some practice at shallow water before surfacing.

Enjoy diving, it's supposed to be relaxed, quiet and peaceful experience.

Also, do some more courses to get better skills- like rescue diver, dive master etc.

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[Airburnr01]

Talk out a plan while you go over your check list as you gear up. You do have a check list, right? Talk about depth, duration ,direction, etc, while your above water, it gives you a chance to form a plan, fine tune it or change it all together because something has changed for one of you or both of you. Talk about what you want to look for=sharks, 6 gill , check out new gear, it is not a race to get in the water. It Will get easier as u add dives. Make it fun and casual but safe.

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[beachbummer28]

Hi, OP here. Just one final update in case any newbies find this thread down the road. (Sometimes I Google and find archived SB threads from years ago that really help if the OP has updated. Last one, promise!)

I have kept diving since this post and we just got back from an amazing diving vacation in Grand Cayman. It's funny to read back on this thread now even though it was only a few months ago because things just naturally improved as we kept diving. Our buddy communication is seamless now and we do have more signals, but a lot of the time we just use universal short symbols to piece things together under the water. I found that this really helped when we went on boat dives with DMs in Grand Cayman as well because obviously they've never dived with us and if we had some "special" signal for everything, it would be hard to communicate with other divers and the DMs. I've never had an urge to surface again like I did on one of the first dives that prompted this thread; I'm not sure what to attribute that to other than:

(1) we go over dive plans now before getting in the water,
(2) I'm more comfortable under the water and confident in my abilities just from diving over and over again,
(3) I don't rush myself and I don't beat myself up over mistakes anymore, like accidentally kicking up a little sand around much more experienced divers (although we have really been working on buoyancy and I try not to!), and
(4) if worst comes to worst and we're trying to communicate something that the other one isn't getting, we just shrug and signal never mind and enjoy the rest of the dive (assuming the communication isn't urgent, obviously).

In short I have found that diving is a great cure for perfectionism and have learned to just enjoy myself while continually improving . I haven't had a truly bad dive since this one but I have had ones where I was too tired, too cold, a little uncomfortable (exploring the entrance to a cave - not really for me, the darkness felt too ominous to me and I had to think happy thoughts and not look into the dark unknown too much lol), or just plain not feeling it, and that's okay because the good dives far outweigh those and I find that there's almost always something small to get out of even a crappy dive. So if any new divers are feeling discouraged or like everyone else is getting it and you're not, please keep diving! I don't think any amount of practice above the water - skills, communication, whatever - helps as much as experience under the water.

 

[Gareth J]

Really pleased to see your post. Its great to see a new diver, overcome problems and get to enjoy their diving.

Especially pleased to see you had a great holiday and have gained in confidence, so that you are relaxing and enjoying the experience.

Safe diving.

Gareth

 

[kimmerscuba22]

Plan your dive and dive your plan. The better your plan is the more comfortable you will feel in a new and unknown dive site. It doesn't fix everything but why not spend a little extra time and put it into a plan so you can take one thing off of the list of anxiety causing issues. Also, relax - you're diving! It's the best thing you can do, everyone has had a crappy dive but it'll get better and it'll quickly become your happy place!

 

[billt4sf]

"Did anyone else have problems at first with the small little stressors creeping in and causing a really crappy dive?"
At first, at second, and any time. I try to adopt the habit that I started as a teacher --- every time, just before I went into the classroom, I would pause a moment and say to myself: "The most important thing is to relax". I do that diving, and I sure wish my wife would! It stresses me out that she is stressed...wait, there we go again.


"Is it dumb to throw in the towel now and just say "diving isn't for me"?"
Yes. Just recognize that all those "little things" that caused you discomfort -- you have to fix them over time.

I am an adherent of the "three little things" rule: if there is one little thing that is wrong on a dive, well OK. Two - maybe. Three - time to thumb the dive.

It does sound like you and your husband have to get more skilled at using hand signals to effectively communicate.

- Bill