Divers Song Parodies

[large_diver]

Couldn't ignore this thread forever...here goes --

DIR CAVE WIZARD
(Sung to the tune of Pinball Wizard)

Floats still as a statue
Becomes part of the scene
Breathing off the long hose
Gear config so clean
Backplate and harness
Frog kick and no yoke
That big bad George Irvine
Says do it DIR or you’re a STROKE

He’s a DIR cave wizard
You must do it his way
That DIR cave wizard
An ego bigger than the milky way.....

Lurking on the internet
Always looking for a fight
Issuing proclamations
For how to “Do It Right”
Shouting down his critics
Until they feel pint-sized
That big bad George Irvine
YELLS that all us STROKES are going to DIE

He’s a DIR cave wizard
You must do it his way
That DIR cave wizard
An ego bigger than the milky way.....

-----------------------------

And hats off to OD below...my memory of the verse sequence is a little off ;-)

 

[Ontario Diver]

This one has appologies to all Madonna fans:

Like A Diver

I made it through my PADI class
Somehow I survived the pool
Wrote the test and got my pass
Now I feel cool

Got some gear, never fear
Visa Card, Creditlimit grew
But a big scuba deal
Yeah, and a tank made of steel
Regulator too

Chorus:

Like a Diver
Under water for the very first time
Like a Diver
When the table reads
Ascent time

Four open water dives, boy
My cash is fading fast
Waiting for my C-Card now
'Cause the mail aint fast.

Its arrived, time to dive
Advanced course, yeah adventure time
Oh night, wreck and deep
Yeah; now Nav to complete
Another C-card is mine

(chorus)

Oooh, oooh, oooh

Rescue dive and still live
Taking courses 'till my last dime
'Cause I gonna go far
Yeah, I'll take DIR
Until its DiveMaster Time

(chorus)

I'm a diver, ooh, ooh
Like a diver
Swimming at on-thirty-five
When I'm under, and I blunder, and the Coasties arrive

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, baby
Now I'm in the chamber,
For the very first time?

(The above is a work of fiction, any similarities to any incidents or persons wet or dry is purely coincidental)

 

[Mario S Caner]

Haha, Ontario Diver, it's funny how I haven't heard Like a Virgin in many many years, yet I was able to sing your lirics to her rythem! LOL!

 

[Ontario Diver]

Sorry TM, a little slow on the submit button,

How's this -

Hardhat Diver

Ever since I took up SCUBA
I've logged my every dive
From Bonaire down to Thailand
I've always come up stil alive
But I ain't seen nothing like him
On any diveboat deck
In canvas, lead, and hoses;
Dives on any wreck

He stands encased in canvas
Held down by lots of lead
Wears a big brass helmet
Mark Five set on his head
Feed from the surface
a long line pumping air
That guy going under
Sure knows his way down there

He's a Hard Hat Diver
He shows no edge of fear
A Hard Hat Diver
Don't need no SCUBA gear

How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
What makes him so good?

He ain't got no regulator
Don't wear no tank or guage
Isn't down to be a tourist
Dives from a different age
Always goes back under
Goes deeper on a dare
That guy going under
Sure knows his way down there

I thought I was
a Seahunt Diving man
But I just became
A Hard Hat Diving Fan

Watch him do his diving
He's really got it on, sir
You know his favourite move
Is alway "Men of Honour"
Never heard of Cousteau
No rubber does he wear
That guy going under
Sure knows his way down there


(OK,OK the last verse is a stretch.....)
Pete; I can't wait (Luckily I don't have a boss right now....)

 

[TexasMike]

L_D, very good. And better than what I was thinking of...

I was messing with the chorus of "Deaf, dumb, and blind diver" or something like that.

 

[TexasMike]

Ontie!!! LOL! Another good one!!!

You two do realize that if we every do have a Neptune Divers mass Group Dive, we will probably ask you to perform some of these!

Especially if we can find a Karaoke machine!

 

[DivingGal]

I was pointed to this thread by good ole Ontario Diver. What a hoot. I'm still laughing.

 

[SubMariner]

These are just toooooo funny!

I didn't realize what a creative bunch we had on this board.

~SubMariner~

 

[The Chairman]

Has any one else noticed that the majority of the "ruined songs" are by OD, LD and ND??? Is that D as in Distressed??? Diseased??? DEMENTED!!!

And Ontario... I bow to your skills, sir! Ah, Grasshopper!
The student has become the teacher!

However ALL of the songs have been excellent!!!

:tease:

 

[The Chairman]

To the tune of "Free Falling"

"Free Diver"

I am swimming
Over the reef now
And I look down
To the depths below

I will go there
All on one breath now
With no air tanks
Just in case you didn’t know

CAUSE I’M A FREE…….
FREE DIVER!!!!
(don’t need no air tanks to go down below)
Yes, I’m a FREE-ee-ee-eee-eeeeee
Free Diver….
(don’t ask him why, ‘cause you don’t want to know)

All on one breath,
I go to the bottom
Don’t blow bubbles
Or make any sounds

Got my speargun
Ready for action
Want a grouper
Or better, make it two!

(refrain)

Now my face is red
From hyperventilating
Then it’s turning blue
From lack of oxygen

I get a head rush
From all of this diving
You don’t have to push me
It’s what I want to do!

(refrain X2)