Corrupt-a-Wish

[NYCNaiad]

Wish granted. It's too bad you've gone from blind to ONLY x-ray vision which means you have a whole host of problems like...you can't see color, you can't read books & you can't look at the close people in your life too often cause you might cause them cancer.

I wish my hairdresser would come to my apartment to wash & cut my hair so I don't have to go to Williamsburg.

 

[Reku]

Granted. Your hairdresser has arrived at your home - unfortunately it's me and not only do I not know how to cut hair, I'm also a koala with no opposable thumbs. I hope you like your new hair.

I wish I had the best hair ever.

 

[NYCNaiad]

Wish granted. You now look like this:

I wish it would never be hot outside unless I was on a dive trip.

 

[Reku]

Granted. All dive trips are to be canceled indefinitely for only you. Now you're just cold.

I wish I had a massage

 

[Alastor]

Granted, but the operator discover a spine problem that keep you from diving, unless sidemount..

I wish to be half of the year in vacation diving around the world.

 

[Reku]

( Good News! I already exclusively dive sidemount because of a back problem )

Granted. You spend 6 months diving and 6 months cleaning out the worst truck stop bathrooms in existence.

I wish I had pumpkin pie.

 

[Alastor]

Granted but the great pumpkin is not so much happy of that, now he fix your back problem and you cannot dive anymore sidemount, neither backmount, but only front-mount.
I wish I had a tasty sandwich (here is 1pm almost).

 

[Nettie-NZ]

Granted, but the delivery boy got run over by a mad Roman taxi driver.

Wish I didn't have to pack up the house to move, that someone would do it all for me.

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

Granted. You don't have to pack up and move. Some bare chested Swiss men only known as Sven do all the packing and deliver your precious goods to the wrong house where everything is sold for crack cocaine.
I wish I the red wine was already chilled

 

[Nettie-NZ]

Granted, but instead of just lightly chilling it, the wine is frozen. Alcohol of course freezes at a different temperature to water so freezing/defrosting it ruins the wine.

I wish that my next travel destination wasn't do many hours ( ~17) flying away.