I can't believe I am responding to this thread. I was going to bite my virtual tongue here but I just can't. There is a huge difference between needing a little minor assistance and not being able to haul yourself out of the water at all and having to rely completely on the assistance of the boat crew.
The person in question that this post is referring to is unable to climb a dive ladder in backmount doubles and has trouble unclipping stage/deco bottles to the point where the boat crew has to do EVERYTHING for them. This is not safe. When a diver needs full-on assistance EVERY DIVE, EVERY TIME, this is not safe. Repeated emphasis here is intentional.
This is not a "macho" tech diver thing nor is it an ego thing and I'm not talking about special unique circumstances. To be blunt, if you're not physically fit enough to climb a ladder in your primary configuration (single tank/doubles/rebreather) you should NOT be doing the dive. Yes I understand in other parts of the world diver lifts are a thing and I quite enjoyed them in Scapa Flow and in Newfoundland. I'm a big believer in diver lifts but they still don't negate the need for a minimum level of physical fitness.
I'm not the fittest person in the world either but I think more people need to realize that diving is physical exercise and sometimes requires real exertion whether you want to believe it or not. I know it doesn't seem that way when you're gently swimming in non-existent current trying to expend as little energy as possible but not every day is perfect, sometimes there are surface currents, ripping currents on the bottom, and rough and dangerous seas that require climbing aboard with all your gear.
I've had to rescue enough people in the water who surfaced a mere ~50 yards/50m/150ft (pick your distance) away from the boat, field strip people of all their gear and tanks because they did not have physical stamina to climb a boat ladder. I'm perhaps pretty jaded here but I've crewed and captained on multiple dive boats the last 8 years and I've seen way too much of this. My expectation is you should be able to climb a ladder in backmount doubles or a rebreather or single tank configuration.
If you can't do this then this needs to be discussed with the boat crew beforehand so they can plan accordingly and know what to expect. Yelling, screaming, and angrily demanding boat crew to unclip your bottles, pull you up the ladder is going to get you on the "boat is full" list REAL FAST.
Obviously bailouts, stages, deco bottles should be clipped off to a line or handed up to the crew if sea conditions allow. Climbing a ladder with multiple bottles is a good way to get bent. Yes I believe you should be able to do this in emergency but I'm not going to require it. If the **** really hits the fan then dump the bottles and gear. We can replace gear, we can't replace people.
I think you need to read a little bit between the lines. The charter operation in question was not saying they would not help you at all. All they said was if you required the full-on help of the crew for every single dive and needed to be hauled out of the water by the crew every single dive then maybe diving or technical diving is not for you.
It's a harsh reality for some people to understand but the captain and crew would rather you not die on their boat.