[Why, oh why, do I do this?]
In reverse order:
Dan -- you wrote that PADI is responsible for creating many divers that destroy the environment. I suppose, in a way, you are correct. PADI, "The Way The World Learns To Dive" IS responsible for creating a teaching environment that has allowed individual instructors around the world to teach and certify many divers -- perhaps more than all the other agencies combined (note -- I wrote "perhaps" since I really don't know how many divers are certified and how many of them get a PADI card -- but I think we can all agree that PADI issues more than any other agency). Thus, by being the 800 pound gorilla that has created a system for certifying divers, Dan, you are, in a way, correct that PADI is ultimately responsible for some number of the bad divers out there.
BUT, and Dan, you know this, PADI through its employees doesn't teach very many divers at all. It really IS about the individual instructor and the shop or resort that encourages or allows shoddy instruction or shoddy results. In fact, PADI, the corporation, does attempt to do quite a bit to encourage good environmental practices and does encourage its certified instructor corps to do likewise. Do most instructors do a good job of encouraging good environmental practices? Well, you be the judge (prosecutor and jury!).
DCBC -- where to begin. You have taken DD's mantra and run with it. Good for you. As for your specific questions:
a. Can a student in a PADI Open Water class get a cert without being able to "swim?" The specific answer is "Yes" but that is only in very specific circumstances (i.e., someone with specific physical limitations). Absent the ADA exemptions, no, one can not get an OW card without being able to "swim." We've had this discussion before -- you believe that one who moves by one's own power while in the water is NOT "swimming" if the person has a mask, fins and snorkel. That is YOUR definition and, fortunately for me, not the one that PADI has (nor the definition that any entity has as far as I can tell from a somewhat quick Google search). In fact, to my way of thinking, it is more relevant to be able to swim WITH a M,F,S than just wearing a speedo.
b. Teaching Buddy Breathing in an O.W. class -- Nope -- not done any more. As with many outdated and/or potentially dangerous teaching methods, PADI prohibits some things (as does every agency with which I am familiar). It is the PADI decision that this is one of those things that shouldn't be taught. You think it should be taught. Good for you. Will you at least agree that not every possible thing that could be done on scuba should be taught in an OW class AND that every agency does prohibit the teaching of some things that CAN be done while on scuba?
c. Harassment -- Well, I know that my OW students believe they are harassed during their OW class, but perhaps not the way YOU want to harass YOUR students. I know that GUE, for example, prohibits physical harassment (such as ripping off a mask) and I am aware of a GUE advanced class where a student was severely reprimanded for striking another student to gain that student's attention, leading me to believe that GUE, like PADI, prohibits physical striking type harassment. Again, I would have to believe that even the vaunted NAUI "instructor gets to do whatever he wants" doesn't condone some types of harassment that YOU might think shows a student is ready! (So I guess that just shows that even NAUI doesn't give total free rein to its instructors despite your statements over and over again that NAUI allows instructors to do what they want to "exceed standards".)
d. CESA in the vertical. I don't get this one. ALL PADI OW students MUST successfully do a vertical CESA. The CESA is introduced in confined water, usually done in a horizontal manner in shallow water. But even in confined water, students are encouraged to practice CESAs in a vertical, or near vertical, manner. In most confined water conditions, doing a purely vertical CESA isn't terribly useful -- 10 foot pool, 6 foot student, only rises 4 feet before hitting the surface. OTOH, doing a diagonal CESA can allow the student to go from 10 feet to the surface over a 30+ foot distance.
e. Having been involved with PADI for a while in addition to hanging around way too many GUE types I just don't understand how you can say that I, as a PADI instructor, couldn't teach a class that is in all important aspects consistent with the GUE rec class. Having read the description of the Rec 1 class it seems like it is, in fact, just an OW class that has Nitrox added in (which is entirely consistent with PADI OW/Nitrox combo). Are there a few restrictions that GUE has that would not apply? Yes -- but nothing that is core.