You guys should appreciate this:
Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow’s family once threw him a surprise party. Once.
Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.
The only reason you’re still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn’t stiff armed you in the face.
When TimTebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.
In the beginning there was nothing. Then Tim Tebow stiff armed that nothing in the head and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.
When Google can’t find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.
What color is Tim Tebow’s blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That’s why there’s no life on Mars.
Tim Tebow once stiff armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.
Tim Tebow is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Tim Tebow is the reason Waldo is hiding.
When Tim Tebow wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
When taking the SAT, write "Tim Tebow" for every answer. You will score more than 1600.
Tim Tebow can dribble a football.
Tim Tebow can kick start a car.
Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.
When Tebow spikes the ball, he strikes oil.
Tim Tebow doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Tim Tebow and Chuck Norris once squared off. The fight lasted for 4 years, then Tebow realized that he was actually in a fight. He immediately stiff armed Chuck Norris upon this realization. This event is referred to as the "Big Bang."
Tim Tebow invented the pedestal. Then he invented the stiff arm to have something to knock people off it.
The recent earthquake off the coast of Florida measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Tim Tebows.
A spike in Tim Tebow stiff arms caused the tooth fairy to go broke in 1997.
An Ohio St fan once told a joke at Tim Tebow’s expense… well we all know what happened next.
Tim Tebow doesn’t get sacked. Tim Tebow sacks defensive linemen.
Tim Tebow frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Tim Tebow sleeps with a night light. Not because Tim Tebow is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Tim Tebow.
Rome wasn’t built in a day because Tim Tebow wasn’t born yet.
Tim Tebow’s number is 15 because that’s how many players it takes to tackle him.
A meteor didn’t kill the dinosaurs; Tim Tebow did in a pickup football game.
Referees created instant replay so they could admire Tim Tebow more than once.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Tim Tebow’s forearm.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Tim Tebow
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