New Pun thread

[tridacna]

I love puns. I'll start off with two of my favorites:

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

and:

My teacher called me just average; I think he was just being mean.

Any others?

 

[Adam Grose]

Working at the local dive shop seems like a tankless job.

 

[swimmer_spe]

Why do people say they get when when they dive dry?

 

[supercritical]

A trimix diver ran out of gas on the bottom. He was in deep trouble.

 

[triplecove]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam !'

 

[dishonored]

Shortened version:
Mother gives up her twin children at birth for adoption. One to an Egyptian family, he is named "Ahmal."
The other to a family in Spain, he is name "Juan."
Several years down the road Juan sends his birth mother a photo of himself. She is thrilled to get the picture and tells her husband she wishes she had a photo of Ahmal.
Her husband says, "they are twins! If you've seen Juan you've seen Ahmal."

Or

How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it!

Or

Masks have no face value


Cheers guys

 

[TONY CHANEY]

Someone stole the tolets at the local police station...the cops have nothing to go on.

"2 pie are not squared, they are round".

Wife told me that if I yelled at her one more time she would give me a bust in the mouth. I welcomed it.

Two atoms ran into each other. One said, "are you alright?"
The other said, "no I lost an electron."
First one said, "are you sure."
Second one said, "yea, I am positive."
"

 

[Adam Grose]

It is said that puns are the lowest form of humor....... but poetry is VERSE!!

 

[tridacna]

Once I ate two pieces of string and they came out tied together. I shlt you not.

We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you cant come, let me know.