worst pun ever

[TwoBitTxn]

A frog decides he needs to add to his lilypad one day and hops to his local bank for a loan. The loan officer says to the frog, "You need some form of collateral for the loan." The frog hops back home and finds something to use as a collateral for the loan. The next day he hops back to the bank and places a carved stone horse on the desk of the loan officer. She looks at him and carries the carved horse to the bank president. She explains to the president the situation and his response...

That's a knicknack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan.

TwoBit

 

[Jcsgt]

LOL.. the pool pic isn't one of me. :lol:

No, I mean it, you just look like Hanibal Lecter. Nobody said I thought it was you in the mask.:lol:

 

[Bryan]

No, I mean it, you just look like Hanibal Lecter. Nobody said I thought it was you in the mask.:lol:

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

 

[Jcsgt]

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Remind me never to invite you over for dinner.

 

[Bryan]

Remind me never to invite you over for dinner.

OK, nevertheless, we'd be glad to have you for dinner anytime, LOL!

 

[Reggae Joe]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "Why the long face?"

Thank you, thank you...I'm here all night...

 

[Mack Diver]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "Why the long face?"

Thank you, thank you...I'm here all night...

Its allways darkest before the dawn

 

[H2Andy]

Alarms: What an octopus is.
Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.
Dockyard: A physician's garden.
Incongruous: Where bills are passed.
Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.
Oboe: An English tramp.
Pasteurize: Too far to see.
Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose.
Toboggan: Why we go to a flea market.

Alimony: The bounty of mutiny.
Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.
Atheist: A person with no invisible means of support.
Diplomacy: Lying in state.
Diplomat: One who is disarming, even if his country isn't.
Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.
Flattery: Phony express.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Income Tax: Capital punishment.
Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself.
Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.
Olympic Officials: The souls that time men's tries.
Psychologist: A person that pulls habits out of rats.
Saxophone: An ill wind nobody blows good.

 

[Bryan]

Q: What is the difference between a Quantum Theorist and a Beauty
Therapist?
A: The Quantum Theorist uses Planck's Constant as a foundation,
whereas the Beauty Therapist uses Max Factor.

Q: What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
A: Fission Chips.

 

[Bryan]

A high school physics teacher had a summer job as a beach lifeguard. He
noted that the best tanned babes flirted the most throughout the summer,
though they never found steady boyfriends. He theorized that: A body in
lotion trends to stray emotion. (By Guy Ben Moshe)