worst pun ever

[Mack Diver]

I worked for a drilling company until I got bored with the job

Then I worked at a mortuary until I got stiffed. Boy, talk about your dead end job.

After that, I worked at a bank. I thought the change would do me good.

 

[_Bella_]

Oh oh! I finally get to tell the worst joke I've EVER heard!

Sam clam and Ollie were life long friends;
One day Ollie passed away going to heaven.

After several months Ollie longed for his old
pal Sam Clam. Becoming depressed he went to St.
Pete and asked if he could go down to earth and
visit with Sam Clam.

St. Pete said he would grant his wish if he
promised to keep his harp with him at all times
so he could re-enter thru the gates by strumming
his harp. Also, that he must be back at the stroke
of midnight.

Ollie agreed and with that he was on his way
to visit his pal Sam Clam.

Upon arriving on earth, he discovered to his
amazement that Sam Clam owned a fancy Disco.
He was having so much fun enjoying his time with
Sam, that time had slipped by fast. Then he heard
clock chimming going on twelve o'clock so he
hurried back to heaven as promised.

The next morning St. Pete found Ollie sitting
outside the gates weeping.

St.Pete, asked why had he not stummed his harp
to enter the gates as he was told.

Ollie sobbed lound and clear that he was very
sorry and and sang out,.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

" I LEFT MY HARP IN SAM CLAMS DISCO! "


ba dun duh!

And I was told this joke by someone from San francisco.

 

[El Orans]

Oh oh! I finally get to tell the worst joke I've EVER heard!

" I LEFT MY HARP IN SAM CLAMS DISCO! "


ba dun duh!

And I was told this joke by someone from San francisco.

Alternatively, Sam Frank's Disco...

 

[Bryan]

A good pun is its own reword.

 

[The Chairman]

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Just three. The rest are all true stories.


Q: How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?
A: It depends on how thin you slice them.


How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
*answer* How many can you afford?


What do you call a lawyer who graduated at the bottom of his class?
A lawyer.


A man runs into a friend and notices that his car is wrecked and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt, and blood. He asks his friend, "What happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend responds, "I ran into a lawyer."
"Okay," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches, and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase him all through the park"


What happens when a lawyer takes Viagara ?
He gets taller


Rumor has it that Dick Cheney didn't want to return to the Lodge immediately after shooting his hunting partner because, in Texas, the daily bag limit on lawyers is two...


An elderly couple were taking a stroll in a cemetary when they passed a headstone with the epitaph
"Here Lies A Lawyer and An Honest Man".
To which the wife wondered out loud, " I wonder what the other person in the grave did for a living?"

 

[dive-class101]

Well this dyslexic walked into a bra....

 

[Jcsgt]

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

 

[dive_lover88]

there were 10 cats in a boat, 1 jumped off how many are left?
Ans: None,the rest were copy cats !!!
Da bum Bish!!

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

MOre puns, less jokes!

 

[The Chairman]

As I was leaving the hospital, I got an electric shock from my credit card.
But the doctor said not to worry about it; it had just been discharged.

These are my summer clothes. Summer paid for, summer not.

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here.

A mosquito doing a tour of Europe is called an itch-hiker.

Q: What's the difference between zombies?
A: Zombies make honey, and zombies don't.

And in the stock market today, helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

Although she was afraid of mice, it didn't keep her from eeking out a living at a pet store.

Q: How do you make a whale float?
A: Root Beer, two scoops of ice cream and a whale.

When calculators were first invented, the costs could quickly add up.
But then their prices came down, and they soon began to multiply.

The French restaurant had five dishwashing basins. They were known as the kitchen cinq.

What do you call an overweight alien? An extra cholesterol.

A jellyfish walked into a hardware shop, and bought ten drills.

Did you hear about the man who dressed up as a baby horse?
He made a complete foal of himself.

When ceiling fans were first invented, they were considered revolutionary.