What's the nicest compliment you've ever received?

[Diver0001]

Sorry Diver0001, but when you are talking about your emotional foot-in-mouth moments, I can't help thinking of Charlie with the Little Red Head Girl.

Well.... there's no getting around that one.....

Interestingly the little Red Head Girl was based on a relationship Schulz had with a colleague. After dating for several years Schulz proposed to her and she declined and dumped him and shortly after married another man.

And THAT could easily have been something that would happen to me..... so in that sense, yeah. The little red head girl fits the image....

R.. (Rob)

 

[Randy43068]

I don't think that's how most people are wired, though, Randy. Especially in the context of dating, which is where I thought this thread started.

First of all, I think from a woman's perspective (correct me if I say something Charlie Brownish here) but it seems to me that women generally become -- and for good reason -- suspicious of men's motives for saying *anything* complimentary to them. The simple fact is that men often are NOT sincere about compliments and it can be difficult to see the difference between a sincere compliment and disguised advances.

I think the same thing goes for men but to a lesser degree and if your experience is like mine then most women won't be generously handing out compliments until they get to know you a bit better.

YYMV

R..

I think it's a matter of insecurity in both men and women. I find people who are a bit less secure tend to think there is an ulterior motive. For crying out loud, just say thinks and move on. Why make this such a mental masturbation? It's not complicated, really!

 

[cavew0man]

I think it's a matter of insecurity in both men and women. I find people who are a bit less secure tend to think there is an ulterior motive. For crying out loud, just say thinks and move on. Why make this such a mental masturbation? It's not complicated, really!

Nope, it's not complicated... we're just wired different. And the world would be much less interesting if we weren't... Of course, dating would be a LOT easier if we weren't, too.

Seriously, (and seeing as how we are in the Women's Views forum), I can say that I can objectively absolutely agree with your statement (just say thanks and move on).

I will, however, at odds with my better judgment, continue to overanalyze, pick apart, stay up a night thinking about, email all my girlfriends for opinions on, and generally obsess over what should in reality be the simplest of situations. It's my genetic prerogative.

And then I shall go diving and forget all about it.

 

[Diver0001]

Do you feel insecure about it, like Randy suggested?

R..

 

[cavew0man]

That's a come-on. But if he had said "I've had crush on you for a long time and I just wanted you to know that you blow me away" would you still have thought he was coming on to you?

(I would bet "yes" given my own experience with saying something like this)

Risk....

If you accept it then it's like reciprocating, even if it's implicit. Then what will come next?

Most people spend the majority of their lives avoiding intimacy and a compliment, however innocuous, is ultimately --and to varying degrees-- an intimate expression.

R..

This was my psychologist friend's point - that the giving of an honest compliment was, in itself, taking a risk, knowing that chances are it may not be received as intended. Which is kind of a sad social commentary, I think.

True, in most cases I'd write it off as a come-on, which was absolutely my initial reaction. But to give the benefit of doubt when thinking about it afterward, this person was, shall we say, less than socially adept back in the day....

If he had said what you said? Hmmm.... different reaction. I mean, it's been over twenty years since any of us have seen each other, and his comment was based on virtual content - Facebook pictures, comments, stuff. Yes, I probably would have taken that as a harmless compliment.

Cavewoman should not drink wine and post... then she starts thinking about what she has just written... why should a compliment be categorized as "harmless"? Does that infer that some of them are "harmful"?

Perhaps Randy has a point....

 

[cavew0man]

Do you feel insecure about it, like Randy suggested?

R..

Apparently we all do.... us wimminfolk. At least I read that in Cosmo once, which is the source of all knowledge.

 

[cruiser]

Went on a chartered dive in Iowa. After we surfaced, I had more air left than the dive master. Not a direct compliment, but a compliment nonetheless.

 

[Diver0001]

Apparently we all do.... us wimminfolk. At least I read that in Cosmo once, which is the source of all knowledge.

The more of your posts I read the more I think that if we knew each other for real we'd become friends. Something about the things you say just rings a bell with me. Just the right mix of humour, sarcasm and seriousness to make you all 3 dimensional.

R..

 

[cavew0man]

The more of your posts I read the more I think that if we knew each other for real we'd become friends. Something about the things you say just rings a bell with me. Just the right mix of humour, sarcasm and seriousness to make you all 3 dimensional.

R..

Thanks!

 

[princessaprilia]

The more of your posts I read the more I think that if we knew each other for real we'd become friends. Something about the things you say just rings a bell with me. Just the right mix of humour, sarcasm and seriousness to make you all 3 dimensional.

R..

Now THAT'S a nice compliment!

And Cavew0man just accepted the compliment.

Wow.... we are learning...