Time is not your friend, IMHO.
What to tell the spouse
- Thread starter freewillie
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Time is not your friend, IMHO.
Frankly sounds ridiculous now that you've clarified your overall financial situation. Why didn't you just tell her as soon as you got home? "Hi honey, had an overwhelming urge to purchase, so I did." Then she shrugs and smiles. She's been there. The yard expense is completely NOT in the same category as it is a family lifestyle purchase. "She's spending" ridiculous statement.
cb5150
Contributor
---------- Post added July 4th, 2015 at 12:01 AM ----------
I agree with the upright members of the board that honesty is the only right way to go but there should be some method to your madness.
1) Play the safety card. This works best if she is a diver but if not she has probably absorbed enough from osmosis that you can impress her that this investment is to help ensure your mutual company forever and ever.
2) Buy her something nice or suggest she indulge in something too.
3) If you blew the whole bonus go back to #1
Good luck,
Pete
1) Play the safety card. This works best if she is a diver but if not she has probably absorbed enough from osmosis that you can impress her that this investment is to help ensure your mutual company forever and ever.
2) Buy her something nice or suggest she indulge in something too.
3) If you blew the whole bonus go back to #1
Good luck,
Pete
The Kraken
He Who Glows in the Dark Waters (ADVISOR)
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Honesty is the best policy . . .
Safe dives . . . . . .
. . . safer ascents !
the K
Safe dives . . . . . .
. . . safer ascents !
the K
CT-Rich
Contributor
I go with the up-front brigade. Lying is a short-term solution to a permanent problem. The reason she notices it because you have a history of hiding purchases. Just get it over with, pull the band-aid off this one, scab and all.
For the future, I would suggest complain about the old computer vocally, talk up the benefits of the new computer eventually she will get the hint and ask about replacement. Tell her the cost of replacement of the old computer and then mention the extra cost of the better, safer.... dream computer. It is much easier to spend an extra $150 for an upgrade rather than $500 for a new computer. When she asks you about the cost she will already accept there is a going to an expense (with the added benefit of you not whining anymore). Once she is resigned to the fact that $350 is needed, bridging the gap gets a lot easier.
For the current computer just tell her it was an impulse buy because of the up coming vacation and that the old computer was getting wanky. You weren't sure it was going to last and didn't want to get hit paying retail in a tourist trap to keep diving (besides, you got a great discount).
For the future, I would suggest complain about the old computer vocally, talk up the benefits of the new computer eventually she will get the hint and ask about replacement. Tell her the cost of replacement of the old computer and then mention the extra cost of the better, safer.... dream computer. It is much easier to spend an extra $150 for an upgrade rather than $500 for a new computer. When she asks you about the cost she will already accept there is a going to an expense (with the added benefit of you not whining anymore). Once she is resigned to the fact that $350 is needed, bridging the gap gets a lot easier.
For the current computer just tell her it was an impulse buy because of the up coming vacation and that the old computer was getting wanky. You weren't sure it was going to last and didn't want to get hit paying retail in a tourist trap to keep diving (besides, you got a great discount).
Last edited:
afdgf
Contributor
My wife is my dive buddy and a lot of the time when we get something we wind up getting the same thing for both of us. That means that we talk over the purchase first because both of us are going to have one.
I give you credit for even stopping to think and even going as far as posting this, knowing that there could be some criticism for your approach of the matter. Its a personal thing and I find that since most of the post on the forum revolve around gear advice this is one post is of a personal nature. You're trying to find out what is the right thing to do, that is an admirable step, that I want to high light. Nothing wrong with that.
Use your gut feeling on this one trust your judgement now that you have read all these posts.
I will say this, there is some thing to that saying building a "relationship built on trust and honesty starts with the small things".
Thanks for putting up a post like this, you are probably helping others to rethink or reevaluate some areas perhaps where they can improve on.
We all have to deal with this scenario but I do feel it is good to have a place to go to ask for advice and perhaps get some "clarity" and ultimately make the right choices.
Frank G
Zgear.org
Use your gut feeling on this one trust your judgement now that you have read all these posts.
I will say this, there is some thing to that saying building a "relationship built on trust and honesty starts with the small things".
Thanks for putting up a post like this, you are probably helping others to rethink or reevaluate some areas perhaps where they can improve on.
We all have to deal with this scenario but I do feel it is good to have a place to go to ask for advice and perhaps get some "clarity" and ultimately make the right choices.
Frank G
Zgear.org
Learn from man's best friend. Act real cute and cuddly with her. When she asks WTF you're doing, put on your best googie face with puppy eyes and tell her you spent some money.
I learned this from my yellow lab whenever he did bad things; no joke. Really helps to lighten the mood.
I learned this from my yellow lab whenever he did bad things; no joke. Really helps to lighten the mood.
oldschoolto
Contributor
I am thankful for my wife everyday... I could not live with games like this... We both know that the other is respectful of the financial well being of the family...
Jim....
Jim....
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