"It's not the years in your life that matter. It's the life in your years. "
Bill, JamesK puts it right out there and I love how honest this statement is.
It is your choice and I respect it whatever you decide.
Personally for me and these are only my thoughts and opinions but simply we all are going to die that is inevitable.
When we loose friends, dive buddies, loved ones it smacks us in the face and we have to grieve / come to terms / make our peace with their passing.
Not always does everyone make it through this process without making life changes it is near impossible.
Some quit diving when buddies die diving others do not it really is up to the individual.
My opinion is when it is time to breath our last it matters not above or below the water it is inevitable but I will not give up without using every skill I have been taught, draw from experiences, use every stitch of training and remember cool heads prevail and if after that there is still no solution resolve to keep trying till no more air is left.
This is what I tell myself and I have had the opportunity to be on two dives that ended well but took me to the edge of the cliff where it could have went either way.
What it engrained in me was a drive to master skills, and train / drill / take no dive for granted, when you get lazy or complacent YOU ARE DEAD!
Technical, Recreational, working, pleasure it just doesn't matter for me I treat them all the same.
If Bill you are not able to feel confident in your training and or response to emergencies or cannot operate under safe dive principals you need to re-think your diving future.
I have dove with other divers who have had accidents above and below the water it takes some time to work through the comfort struggles but it is possible.
Some walk away and no judgement from me at all.
I respect everyones choice and will defend their right to do so.
Good luck, take your time, do not draw any lines but rather allow yourself time to adjust and come to terms with this loss.
Hope to get to dive with you one day.
CamG