Ways to freak out a new dive buddy onboard

[mcm007]

Sweet

 

[mcm007]

yeah they are...

 

[Hydrophobic]

Inform your new buddy that you are going to try to improve your SAC rate by only opening your tank valve just a little bit. :errrr:

 

[gitterdun]

Okay, I am NEW, and I am ROFLMAO!!!

 

[Li'l38]

Won't I sink to the bottom with 3000 pounds in my tank?

How does this dive computer read your nitrogen content through your wetsuit? (I've actually heard that one)

Spit in your wetsuit and pee in your mask.

Let's go get narced.

I absolutely lost it on this one!! (pee in mask) :lol: How about "I ran out of shark repellant, did you bring some? That's OK, I've got this new dog whistle. I've been dying to try it out. I'm told they hate it unless they're really huge. Wonder if there's such a thing as a deaf shark... In the event it doesn't work, all ya gotta do is swim straight at him, hold up a fist and growl, I'll be right behind ya..."

 

[BabyDuck]

hold up your bp & webbing & wing and ask if anyone knows how to put them together.

 

[underwaterangel]

As a newbie...

I think this is the funniest thread I have ever seen.
I haven't laughed this hard in days.

 

[Sideband]

"Accidentally" kill him.

Show up with the skull of his childhood pet in your dive bag.

Every time he pulls a piece of gear out of his bag pick it up, look at it, then throw it over the side of the boat.

I think maybe I need professional help. These came too easy...

Joe

 

[mike_s]

If you want some real fun with him, fill up his BC pockets with crumbled bread or squeeze cheese. He'll just "love" having all those fish paying attention to him.

 

[dlndavid]

Tell them your name is Fred and have been looking for a dive buddy for quite some time now.