Ways to freak out a new dive buddy onboard

[Jamdiver]

I once dove with a DM who was reputed to smoke weed before dives :11: :11: .
I have never seen someone who was so relaxed underwater in my life.....

That certainly freaked me out :14: !!

So for everyone else arrive at your dive site, mellow with blood-shot eyes and make sure to reek of herb.
That's sure to freak out your buddy and everyone else there.

 

[miketsp]

Pull on your dive hood with a lovely rhinestone encrusted tiara stitched to it.
Insist they address you as "Princess" and dive in a prone position.



(Blahahahahahahaha, Hi WB :10: )

But won't the tiara stop me putting my mask on my forehead? :11:

 

[ItsBruce]

Put an old 35mm camera in a ziploc bag.

Offer free copies of a fill in the blanks last will and testiment.

 

[Gidds]

Convince everybody in your local club forum that you are a dominatrix (you have to look commanding in a black drysuit and having red hair helps) then make it well known that unsafe or obnoxious buddy behavior earns a flogging with an LP hose

 

[makomike]

of course the best way to mess with a new dive buddy is to tell him the story about what happened to your last dive buddy.

"The last guy that dove with me kept following me around like a lost puppy. I took off and hid behind a barrel sponge until I couldn't see him. I guess he got the point I never saw him again. He must of swam to shore. I didn't see him back on the boat. Boy I was going to give him an ear full. SO BACK OFF!"

 

[waynne fowler]

If you have wetnotes or a slate, you can write notes underwater. I actually did this one: The cranky DM had just blown the bag for a drifting stop. I wrote "YOU HAVE A REMORA ON YOUR BUTT" and handed it to him. He dropped the reel and started feeling his butt. He actually tired to look between his legs!! We almost choked to death laughing.

I know, naughty, but he was such as martinet.

Funny!!

 

[Code Monkey]

I actually had this one happen.

A bunch of us had just come off of a week-long live-aboard in Belize and we all took a short tour of the local ruins. In addition to our group were a guy and his daughter that were taking the next week's trip. When they asked us how the diving went, we told them (honestly) "at least nobody stayed dead!"

It was true -- two separate incidents involved people who had stopped breathing and the doctor on board couldn't find a pulse. We were able to be casual about it because both people (who were each helicoptered off the boat) met us at the dock, all safe and sound, when we had gotten back.

 

[Fr3d]

1. Take a cleaver as your dive knife

2. Say that you don't know if it's safe to dive since your a heroin addict who has been going cold turkey for 3 days.

Apologies if similar things were already mentioned

 

[dive_lover88]

I dont think the new divers will be the only one that freak out...but nice one