Ways to freak out a new dive buddy onboard

[Orlando Eric]

Talk about how you almost died at the "Hole in the Wall dive" and how that guy saved your life because you ran out of air. Then one up that with a tale about diving the Guy HArvey and going into deco. Then at the first dive site stay longer than the EAN32 divers when you are diving air and run out of air at your required DECO stop....

Oh wait.. that really happened... scary the people you see on a boat.

 

[Orlando Eric]

"Man, I hope this boat waits for me to come up before they leave this time.. last time I got cold and tired swimming fifteen minutes to someone elses boat, had to call the coast guard and get them to come back..."

"I wonder if they ever found that diver that was lost out here last month?"

"Looks like the RED Tide has died down some"

"Watch out for the Puffer fish here.. they bite off fingers"

"If the line goes slack it is probably just some power boaters stealing your flag"

"I wonder if there is enough fuel on this boat to get us back?"

 

[subaquaman]

Keep talking about your "oxygen" cylinder.

and ask them to pass your flippers!

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

EDIT: Two threads merged.

 

[cudachaser]

I am sooo hung over

 

[Kim]

Tell him: "It's amazing how much you can learn from the Internet - I'm really looking forward to trying it out for real."

 

[onfloat]

Tell him that you find all of that equipment to combersome and would it be possible to buddy breathe for the entire dive.

 

[SoCalAngel]

Ask your new buddy " what do you want to do when we get separated? I like to continue my dive solo. Heck, we'll meet back at the boat anyway, right?"

 

[kent_1848]

"Any idea where this hose goes?"

 

[Charlie99]

Ya don't have to say a word. Just mount your BCD upside down and backwards on the tank, then stand there with a puzzled look.