Things you will never hear a Southerner say...

[Goose75]

We used to have French Canadians come down to Texas fer meetins all the time. They loved to listen for the colourful things we would say. I never thought about it before that, so I started writting them down. Here is a few of my favorites.

1)IT'S GOODER THAN SNUFF AND NOT HALF AS DUSTY
2)TALK ABOUT CHARGING HELL WITH A PITCHER OF WATER
3)IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISH IN LIFE… THE SIZE OF YOUR FUNERAL WILL DEPEND ON THE WEATHER
4)IF I TELL YOU AN EGG IS GONNA HATCH A HORSE, YOU BETTER BUILD A BARN
5)IT WOULD SEEM OUR BIG BOYS ARE ALL STEERS
6)IF WISHES WERE HORSES, THEN BEGGARS COULD RIDE
7)AND IF BUZZARDS HAD A BANJO UP THEIR A#$ THERE WOULD BE MUSIC IN THE AIR
8)SON, YOU’RE IN MORE TROUBLE THAN A THREE LEGG’D SQUIRELL ON A FOUR LANE HIWAY

 

[DvrRick]

Overheard in a restaurant (No, I didn't make this up): "I'm just about as happy as a possum up a gum stump!" I have no idea what a gum stump is but possums must like them.

 

[H2Andy]

I have no idea what a gum stump is but I possums must like them.

i'm guessing a "gum stump" means a tupelo (black gum or sour gum) tree, since
possums are pretty much happy as hogs up any tree. that's where they feel safest
and where they spend most of their time.

 

[The Kraken]

The stump of a sweetgum tree.
The older trees will rot from the inside out and make an excellent cavity in which the possum loves to sleep.

 

[SueMermaid]

You see? I am such a Yankee, I never would have figured that one out. I was picturing a possum chewing bubblegum.

 

[DvrRick]

ScubaBoard has a wealth of knowledge both below and above the surface! Thanks for possum/gum stump education.

 

[caymaniac]

Once while diving off Provo, we met new friends ( him being from the 'South') who were on our boat with Fifi. One day we were bantering back and forth and I said " So you lost the war ... get over it!", he said back to me "no we didn't ... we are still waiting for supplies!" That was the best answer I ever heard from a 'southerner' :>)

 

[mike_s]

Overheard in a restaurant (No, I didn't make this up): "I'm just about as happy as a possum up a gum stump!" I have no idea what a gum stump is but possums must like them.

On of my favorite funny southern sayings is:

"It was slicker than greased owl s h i t...."

 

[DvrRick]

On of my favorite funny southern sayings is:

"It was slicker than greased owl s h i t...."

I wonder how people know what stuff like this feels like. Off the subject of this thread but....what is it with people who have something that smells or tastes rank and they insist you smell or taste it. (Ok, ok I am guilty of doing this too ) Some sort of programmed response? Is it Learned or or we born with this behaivior?

 

[Lil' Irish Temper]

The best I heard when I was in Nashville Tenn, was this guy hitting on this girl at a local bar, he said "Woman, you are finer than fur on a frog".

I about wet myself because I was laughing so hard.