We are capable of recognizing our own shortfalls and taking appropriate actions IF we survive. I would agree an instructor can't show a student EVERYTHING--some things need to be experienced and practiced. Also, progressively expanding one's comfort zone is a way of learning. On this specific topic of "deco lite," as what I might call a "serious" rec-only diver, I may or may not presently be in a position to try this--I just don't know and am not willing to risk experimenting with it when I know there are perfectly good courses out there to make sure I have checked all the boxes and am really ready to leave the nest and go out and practice on my own, such as Tec40 as Andy points out. I can use tables and dive planning software. I can calculate how much gas I need for any number of stops. I am getting better at holding stops every 10 feet. Still, it occurs to me that I don't know if I have thought of everything and if my skills are really at the required level. Why play with fire? Some of you have indeed figured out on your own what works for you, and that's great for you. However, I wouldn't encourage others to go down that path in order to extend their dives a few minutes beyond whatever "NDL" they are using.
Maybe AOW should be used for this sort of training. That is, tell divers "okay, so you learned in OW that the NDL is a bright line--and it was taught that way for your own safety as a new diver; now, in AOW we're going to teach you why that is not quite so, and teach you how to dive with that in mind." From what
@KenGordon said, it sounds like BSAC Sport Diver does just that. Sounds like a very reasonable thing to me. It shouldn't be that controversial a topic--as evidenced by this long thread, it is--if taught in a sensible way.
By the way, what if we were to imagine a world in which the NDLs according to the tables and all available research were all just a few minutes shorter? Would rec diving not exist because people wouldn't think a mere 10 minutes looking at that wreck (instead of 15 minutes in our world) or 40 minutes cruising along that reef (instead of 60 minutes in our world) is worth the effort? Would more people be doing "deco lite" in order to extend their dives, so they could spend just five more minutes looking at that wreck? I don't think so. I think there would be just as many people who accept the limits as bright lines, and just as many people pushing the limits into "deco lite." In other words, no matter where one draws the line, there will always be people looking to exceed it slightly.