Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[Trixxie]

I wonder if there is a little blue pill that will bring Mitt Romney back to fix my electile dysfunction

I know, right

for the first time since I began voting waaaay back in the 80's I almost wouldn't care if I missed my turn to vote... but since it's my duty, guess I'll just have to choose the lesser of 2 evils.

 

[mrfixitchapman]

I know, right

for the first time since I began voting waaaay back in the 80's I almost wouldn't care if I missed my turn to vote... but since it's my duty, guess I'll just have to choose the lesser of 2 weevils.

Or weasels.

Dc

 

[mrfixitchapman]

Oh-oh. This could be politics. I'll just go over to the Pub before I'm told.

DC

 

[aubie85]

Here is a neat video and it s clean.

EepyBird.com: The Domino Effect

I'm kind of late, but, that kind of puts the 'Bellagio' in Vegas to shame!

 

[gehadoski]

:marvel:

 

[m3830431]

You might be a redneck if the Bluebook value of your truck changes with the amount of gas you have in it!

 

[mlkco]

Calling an illegal alien an undocumented worker is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmacist

 

[aubie85]

A man was in a hurry to meet his friend down at the nearby lake. On the way down there, he was stopped by a man fully dressed in red. The man pulled over, and the red man asked, "Hi, I'm the red jerk of the highway. Have anything to eat?" The man smiled and handed him a sandwich. He continued down the highway and was yet again pulled over by a man fully dressed in green. He stopped and the guy in green said, "Hi, I'm the green jerk of the highway. Have anything to drink?" Without smiling, the man handed the green guy his coke. He started off again and started to speed down the highway. Yet again he was stopped by a guy fully dressed in blue. Sighing, he pulled over and pulled down his window, leaned out and said, "Let me guess. You're the blue jerk of the highway. What do you want?" "license and registration please" came the reply.

 

[santafejoe]

Witticisms

1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and ****head's

2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol
content.

3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I
said, 'Thyroid problem?'

5. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing
up really fast.

6. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: 'Buy one dog, get one flea.'

7. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.

8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal'?

10. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.

11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.

12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes,
make Bloody Marys.

13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

15. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive.

17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my
plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have 'Schiffer Brains.'

18. No one ever says 'It's only a game!' when their team is winning.

19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and
lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling
well?

20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door
you're on.

21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

22. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

24. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

 

[m3830431]

You might be a redneck if your wife repeatedly has to tell you to take your transmission off the table