mlkco
Contributor
santafejoe:
Thats very funny
Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
- Thread starter sandshaker
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Thats very funny
santafejoe
Contributor
Of course it ismlkco:Thats very funny
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
pppftttttttt............FUNNNEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
Pick Up Lines.I cleaned them up some...........................
I still don't think they will work.but who knows
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Stand still so I can pick you up!
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
What the heck are you looking at?
I still don't think they will work.but who knows
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Stand still so I can pick you up!
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
What the heck are you looking at?
wstein
Contributor
sandshaker:
what is wrong with either of those????
mike_s
Contributor
>>A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the interstate one day, so she
>>eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out
>>of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds
>>them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming
>>traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their
>>nude bodies to approaching drivers...
>>
>>Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't
>>very long before a police car arrives.
>>
>>The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled
>>vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
>>
>>"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.
>>
>>"Well, what are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the
>>road?!"asks the Officer.
>>
>>"Hellll-looo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.
>>eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out
>>of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds
>>them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming
>>traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their
>>nude bodies to approaching drivers...
>>
>>Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't
>>very long before a police car arrives.
>>
>>The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled
>>vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"
>>
>>"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.
>>
>>"Well, what are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the
>>road?!"asks the Officer.
>>
>>"Hellll-looo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.
"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."
From the cabin, a blonde passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!"
"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."
From the cabin, a blonde passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!"
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."
santafejoe
Contributor
Love The Blonde Jokes Kilo Fox LMFAO
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