Please help to identify this object

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BKP:
Hogarthian harness for a pregnant woman with a slight limp on her left side, and a brother-in-law obsessed with twinkies and old Sea Hunt movies, who recently moved in with her and her now estranged husband, who decided to run away with the local Dive Op's daughter to start a Nancy's Nut Shop next to the Starbucks in the Kroger where the pregnant woman shops...

This is the stupidest theory so far. That Kroger closed last year!

This obviously has something to do with a pipewrench in the conservatory.
 
wow this one is tough
although it might be used to hold fins while hanging off something?
and mask at the bottom
but then again it might not work
and the starps are too thin to support the things.

but if you look at the second set of pictures and use your imagination it kinda looks like a peni$
so if you have any use for that just leave it the way it is until you figure out what it actually is

i cant imagine something that big having to do with diving
i mean i dont think i have seen any dive gear that i could not associate with diving. its also strange that its not ajestable

PS hehehe i said peni$
 
Thanks for helping thinking about the possible uses for this "thing" !!!

@Mo2vation: as Emmie already indicated, I indeed am a quite curious man... I enjoy coming up with non-standard and non-trivial solutions for several things, I enjoy peeking around in (dive) shops and thinking of alternative uses of some things... you possibly might enjoy browsing some of my "tips & tricks" pages in one of my diving related websites (http://www.torpedo.be/weetjes.html ... I've written it in Dutch but the pictures and photographs in many of the pages are "multilingual" and self-explaining). And in this particular case I was most intrigued by this weird ribbon with the buckles because the shop owner didn't know herself what the purpose of it was and I couldn't figure it out myself at the spot, and since it was only a few EUR I bought it to try out various things and possibly/hopefully come up with some good use of it... :wink:

Anyhow... it cannot serve the purpose of a tank holder since the loops are much too small, our standard 15liter and 12liter monos definitely don't fit and also the smaller 10liter ones don't.
The only purpose I could think of up to now is a kind of "carrying line" for securing a number of things on e.g. a boat... this is why I took the picture of this ribbon configured that way in my garage. One can e.g. disconnect one of the buckle pairs and put them through the leg of a wet swimming pant or T-shirt and fix the clips again, and the swimming pant or T-shirt is well secured and can freely dry in the wind... or there are several scuba diving goodies available nowadays with single buckles (M or F) such as e.g. underwater slates, small compasses or retractors, etc. which one can clip to one of the M or F buckles instead of letting them lying on the floor or in your dive bag.
This is simply one possible use I could imagine myself...
 
HappyFunBoater:
Are you suggesting that this has something to do with the Swedish Chef?!
Well... if your swimming pants looks like a dead chicken... why not... :wink:
 
My best guess it is would be used to hold gear clipped to it possibly for deco stops or a hang station.

or it could be used for unspeakable things... hanging wet clothing up, clipping mutiple small dogs to, or better yet small children.

Sounds like you got good deal on whatever it is.
 
HappyFunBoater:
This is the stupidest theory so far. That Kroger closed last year!

This obviously has something to do with a pipewrench in the conservatory.

No way... you're thinking of Colonel Mustard with the embolism in the jacuzzi...
 
It is something to make you ask questions, and look it works perfectly....
 
Mad Scientist:
It is something to make you ask questions, and look it works perfectly....

All of the :wink: answers were great, but that was the best!

I, the inveterate sewer of nyon devices, have this to say:

1) These Fastex clips as shown are of very low strength (as pointed out earlier). They may hold heavy objects from sliding about (like small diameter tanks) but not for long. These buckles are especialy prone to catastrophic failure if hammered by something like a tank.

2) The sewing method is either a botch or designed for low strength. Three rows of stitching is nominal for stength (overkill for these Fastex buckles). There should have been a short 2" piece of the yellow nylon patched over the main strap and stitched thru.

3) I once trained a female "dive buddy" so well that she absolutely shuddered when she heard the snap of a Fastex buckle attached to nylon webbing. The one that I "conditioned" her response with also had yellow webbing, just like the ones in question. Dynamo Humm was her name, but it had to be stitched three times for obvious reasons. :kitty:
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/peregrine/

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