In a quarry, how complex would you make your plan? Should I know exactly what features I want to see and how long I want to spend at each? Or just more basic plans since I can shears surface swim?
That part of the dive doesn't need to be rigid. If there are 5 potential things in one direction, you really just need to the point at which you need to turn around, whether you've seen all five or not. This is where communication with your buddy comes in. Figure out how to ask "are you ready to move on?"
How do I properly monitor our gasgas consumpt rates to better utilize that information for planning?
Record your starting and ending pressures on every dive, both you and your GF. Determine your average depth for that dive and the dive time, then do the math to calculate your RMV.
Just do some searches for the formula, but to take a very simple example. If you started with a full 80cf cylinder and breathed it down from 3000 to 750 in an hour with an average depth of 33 feet, then you consumed 60cf (2250/3000 * 80) of gas over an hour, or 1cf/minute. But, you did that at 2ATA of pressure, meaning at the surface, 1ATA, you would be using 0.5cf/min. When you determine that baseline, you can multiply it by the pressure at any target depth you are interested in, expressed in atmospheres of pressure, and figure out how many CF/min you'll be using while at that depth.
If you don't have a computer or comfort in calculating your average depth for a whole dive, then get to comfortable depth and maintain it for 15 minutes swimming normally, noting the starting and ending pressures just for that segment, and use just that segment for the calculation.
You'll find it varies significantly depending on how hard you are working and will likely be declining over time as you get more comfortable.
How do you plan where to go on an unguided dive when often times the boat captain doesn't even give you a dive site until you're en route? Do you just need to heavily research all the possible dive locations beforehand?
Only in the sense that we might be doing reef diving without knowing the particular site on the reef, but you would still be able plan gas, etc. based on knowing the typical profiles (i.e., first dive is a wall dive to 100', second is a 50' shallow dive) or something like that. If you ever found yourself in a circumstance where you felt like you were expected to dive on a site without any guidance and you weren't comfortable, then just don't dive until things have been explained.
You'll find that most of this stuff very quickly becomes muscle memory. You'll know, without having to think to hard about it, what your dive profile/length is for particular dives.
Just enjoy your dives and work up incrementally. If that means doing a 30 minute dive at 30 feet at first, that's fine. Master that and next time, add depth or time if you feel comfortable doing so.