Personally I would not stay on Phuket, I went north to Khao Lak and stay at the Le Meridien, and when I was on the other side in Krabi, I stayed at the Sofitel Krabi. Both are excellent and quite resorts. Not over Crowed.
If I wanted to stay at places like Patong beach, I would save myself the 17 hour or 10 hour flight to Thailand and go to Majorca instead. It is pretty much the same, very crowed and party all night.
But I think people from phuket and thailand from this board seem to trying to say that phuket is all great, which it is not. I enjoy my day trips to phuket from Khao Lak, but I really would not want to stay there. As I did drive around the whole Island of Phuket, yes there are some nice area, but not enough for my taste in vacations. The north end of the island did have some quite beaches, with nice white sands. There were not to many hotels up that way. Enjoyed my shopping trip to the central mall. And the shops in Phuket town. But lets face facts, there is tourist targeted crime in phuket. Tourism is a big industry for phuket, and it will attract the less friendly element.
I live in NYC also, tourism is big. I will tell you that there are tourist targeted crime here. And I would tell any women visiting NYC alone not to stay at any hotel that in not a big name that is under 150 dollar a night. But we get over 4 million visitors a year. NYC may be the safes big city in the US, but we do have crimes.
Lets face facts, Phuket is not the wonderful safe haven you want us to believe. That said, I did enjoy my trips there.