Man, that's funny.
Actually, the toilet has a "seat," just like the one in your bathroom... You know, the one you leave up and your girlfriend/wife/SO yells at you about.
This allows for water to enter throught the sides, creating a downward suction which never actually adheres you to the seat.
The plan is to wear a wetsuit, suprisingly. When the suit is to be removed, I'll enter a sort of underwater latrine (for privacy) and inflate my wing and stick it to the ceiling. Then the wetsuit will be removed, and I'll be inside, basically naked, with my gear stuck to the ceiling and dangling my regs in my face. Number one and number two will both be performed sitting, probably with a couple of weights sitting on my lap to ensure that I'm negative. I'll be using the same sort of material to uh... "Clean up"... As what you'd find in a commercial, disposable "shop rag." Basically, it's a sort of non-absorbent paper towel that is thick enough to retain some consistency while completely submerged. (It feels very much like cloth.) Of course, the water "softens" it a bit.
These will be disposed of through the toilet, like you'd do with normal toilet paper. (It is actually a paper product.) I'll then probably utilize bar soap to keep my body clean - a much more realistic approach to a 14-day stay than most divers who've attempted this record.
"Soaping," by the way, will be performed in the "latrine" as well... With the toilet "flushing" the whole time. In short, I should be able to soap and rinse, effectively, without too much hassle if there's a constant drain (provided by the "toilet"). During this activity, I'll probably be vertical in the "latrine" and have my feet hooked under a couple of door handles mounted on the floor. Again, my gear will be stuck to the top of the "latrine."
Brushing teeth will be performed using a breath hold technique and a standard regulator. The plan is to brush a few of my teeth at a time, then breathe, and then go for the next few. Repeat until done. Of course, all of this will be done over the "toilet." Believe it or not, this is the trickiest part of my daily hygene.
Jeez, I hope that's not too graphic for y'all.
I wear contact lenses... They will be removed for the duration of the dive. I doubt I'll bother with corrective lenses in my mask, although I might find that to be an issue by the time Phase 5 comes around. Shaving probably will be ignored, although I might choose to get creative, again over the toilet, if it becomes irritating or causes problems with the mask seal. Heck, I might just keep myself up to look good for the media. Shaving will probably be performed with a "Bic" style safety razor and without "shaving creme," although a "shave gel" may be an option - or a submersible electric shaver - if the "Bic" gets irritating.
The big picture, though, is to embrace the luxury of being able to deffocate and urinate, brush teeth, shower, and perform other daily rituals - not to ignore them or subdue them. That, simply put, is the big difference between my attempt and the attempts before me. Previous attempts all consider bodily function as an interruption to the dive, rather than a requirement for a "normal" dive.
...And I feel that that basic philisophical difference in the way I execute this dive will lead to much longer dive times than have previously been attempted.
