I'm honestly curious . . . Do you think you can take a diver who has to do his valve drills on his knees, and in twelve dives, get him to the point where it is safe for him to do mandatory decompression diving, handling any problems that occur in midwater while maintaining buoyancy control?
For what it's worth, valve drills whilst kneeling are actually really hard - harder than when in trim, because the tanks tend to slip further down the back and make them harder to reach. It's really the same entry point as doing surface drills, because it's teaching the mechanics of the valve drill rather than practicalities of not fighting with your kit under water.
12 dives is "about normal" for that level of training. TDI, for example, is between 10 and 14. Advanced Nitrox is 4 dives, Decompression Procedures is 4 dives (6 if the two courses are combined) and Extended Range is 6 dives, though 2 "may" be credited from previous training.
GUE is "four in water sessions" for Fundies, which realistically could be just two actual dives (I know people who have done Fundies without ever going to open water sites, but I think this is an exception rather than a rule). Tech 1 and Tech 2 are both 8 dives, so 16-18 in all.
The difference is that GUE specifies a certain number of dives between each course to build on experience. This isn't precluded in the DSAT or TDI standards, even though it's not explicitly required.
For example, my TDI Advanced Nitrox & Deco Procedures course stretched over about a year in total. The six dives required were done in a three day period, and then I did maybe thirty or so dives of that ilk before the certification was issued.
The people I know who teach DSAT essentially do the same thing - develop people to the point where they pass part I, then bundle them off to do some diving before doing part II.
I know little too nothing about that course, but that might be a little overkill.
Fundies is a good course, an outline on the web is available:
GUE Fundamentals | Global Underwater Explorers
By inference, some GUE instructors are a little more draconian in their insistance for perfection than others. I've never seen the GUE instructor manual, so not sure how the performance requirements are worded or what definitions of "mastery" are given. I certainly feel that there is a level of interpretation either allowed or expected. To be honest, those people who are taking weeks to complete Fundies would probably not be passing a TDI or DSAT course either, provided the instructor had some semblance of integrity.
The nice thing on Fundies is that the instructors (or at least the ones I know) don't put any emphasis on the pass. Quite often the time that people take is because they are told the areas of potentially development and given the time to go away and practice.