Need some good scuba jokes

[Rocknrone]

A cross fitter, an athiest, and a scuba instructor walk into a bar

I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.

 

[mockney]

I got the sack as a PADI dive instructor last week...

Apparently even NAUI and SSI certified divers need oxygen tanks

 

[mockney]

I was doing a bit of Scuba Diving on an old German sub wreck.
I wasn't sure what I'd found, so I took parts to the British Maritime Museum.
"Oooh, it's a bit of an enigma," the curator told me.

He obviously wasn't that good at his job, I thought.

 

[socaljohn]

What's the difference between a scuba instructor and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

heard that one as a drummer joke...

 

[socaljohn]

mark, mark, mark...

 

[The Chairman]

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes???

Spoiler

A nervous wreck!

 

[htatton]

Q. How many people does it take to circumcise a whale? A. Four skin divers.

 

[htatton]

A diver was shipwrecked up onto a lonely and tropical shore. As he stood up he noticed his hands were purple, he looked at his feet and they were purple, worriedly he unzipped his wetsuit and his chest and stomach were purple. With his head in his hands he cried, "Oh my God!, I've been marooned!"

 

[htatton]

I think my dive buddy wife wants a divorce. I gave the out of air signal, she handed me her snorkel.

 

[htatton]

There is a problem with Scuba Jokes: Many of them become instructors!