Man, I've never laughed so hard in my life! Well, okay, once or twice before, but maaaaannn... That was hilarious!
We're all going to die! (eventually)
I have just spent my evening reading this thread (What a sad life I live).
Too true, good point about the dying thing... Hopefully, not today!
Hey, man... You think YOUR life is sad? I was the one who wrote the stupid thing! In all fairness, though, this thread's been a blast... And the humor in your post made it all worthwhile, not to mention the fact that getting other's opinions on this whole deal has brought me another good excuse for a dive, and some great interaction from educated people about my favorite topic. When I can't dive, at least I can come here and talk about diving!
I can see it now...Metridium took up Sea Jay's offer to go diving together primarily because of Sea Jay's offer to provide the air (way to go big spender!).
Hahahaaaa!!! Yeah, I know... But to me, that's good enough reason to dive. Free air? I'm there. Free equipment? I'm there. Heck, I'd dive for a 10% discount on some batteries for my Ikelight.
Still, you've got a point... Let me up the ante... Anyone who wants to go dive the Betsy Ross (105 ft. depth, 15 miles offshore, 430' sunken Liberty ship, 100 foot vis), I'll throw in not only free air, but a free boat ride too! If you've got your own gear and you can get here, this dive won't cost you a dime. That's how bad I'm jonesin' for some experienced dive buddies!
Of course the trip had to be postponed once because Sea Jay went to Florida by mistake because he thought Medtridium was a Florida Caver! Once they got together they almost aborted the dive before they even got wet, because Metridium, took a peek at Sea Jay's "Pee Valve" and noticed he was ! Metridium being a **** and everything was about to call off the dive.
This took a lot of explaining on the part of Sea Jay, who went on about the thorough research and 5000 word essay he had written about the benefits of being circumcised.
My sides hurt from laughing so hard!
Please, Mr. Moderator, don't "edit" this post... That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!
This of course upset the rest of the divers in the group who criticized Sea Jay for trying to come off like an expert on the entire "circumcised vs not-circumcised" issue when he only had used his equipment 17 times in his life (4 of those times solo, when the cable company accidentally unscrambled the "Playboy Channel" for a weekend).
I had to stop to go wipe the tears from my eyes I was laughing so hard!
Anyway, when they finally did go diving everything was cool. Mainly because the regulators in their mouths kept them from arguing under water. They did however develop life threatening "finger cramps" from trying to use hand signals to convey their likes and dislikes about each others rigs.
During the dive, Sea Jay found a 20lb. anchor and he decided to bring it to the surface by clipping it the D Ring number 22 on his Jacket BC. During the accent...the D Ring failed and the 50lb lift, fully inflated, Jacket BC, sent Sea Jay to the surface like a submarine launched nuclear missile, with such velocity he cleared the surface of the water by about 4 feet! Fortunately for him because that was just enough to fly over the top of the speeding water ski boat that was heading his direction. As he fell back to the surface, Sea Jay calculated that he would have to hold open all three off his dump valves in order to sink fast enough to avoid being hit by the jet skiers that were chasing the boat and jumping it's wake.
Metridium tries in vain to "swim up" the double steel 105's, SS Backplate, and canister light, with his remaining good leg. He has no air bladder to fill, because he ditched it in an attempt to become more streamlined.
Dude, I'm hangin' with you... Somehow, I have a feeling that no matter what happened, you'd make us all laugh and it'd all seem better.
He uses his last breath to turn over, face up, toward the surface. His last thought is that he wants the recovery divers to see how clean and unencumbered his chest looks with only shoulder and crotch straps showing.
He can't wait for the death that will surely come four hours later when he runs out of air. So he decides to "Do It Right" by wrapping the 7 foot LP hose connected to his primary, around his neck five or six times and strangles himself in a perfect horizontal position at the the bottom of the ocean. ;-)
ROFLMAO!!!
Okay, breathe. Breathe. Must remember to breathe.
Until I read the preceding thread, I had foolishly believed that diving was a safe sport regardless of what kind of gear we used. (As long as that gear had sufficient redundancy and reliability)
I used to ride Harley's. I used to ride sport bikes. I used to get all caught up in the "Which is Better" debate. Now I ride "street fighter" style bikes like the Triumph Speed Triple, Ducati Monster, Yamaha V-Max and realize it's not about WHAT you ride...it's about IF you ride! I just love seeing riders of all kinds on the road.
Yay! Truer words were never spoken. I know it's a debate for another time on another board, but you're right. The owner of one of the best dive shops in Savannah rides a hog... And he and I tease each other all the time. It's great that we can both mess around like that... And there's really a strong mutual respect that is there not only because we both ride, but because we both dive, too. 'Course, it is funny when he says to me, "You look like a monkey humping a football," and I ask him, "Do you know the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The placement of the dirtbag." We both smile and tease and it's great. I don't remember any Italian bike jokes, but when I do, I'm sending them to you. Hey, man... You aren't exempt either! "Ducatis are like Italian Harleys" and all of that.
Likewise, I completely agree with you on your point about this sport being statistically very safe, no matter what kind of gear is used.
By the way, I dive a Scubapro Knighthawk and love the way it blends a few of the features I liked from the SP Classic Plus (ditchable non-velcro weights and super comfortable straps and cumberbund when walking a long way to the beach) with the features from the Halcyon BP/Wings that I tried and also really liked (Back inflate air bladder fits very tight around the single tank and front of rig is just shoulder straps and cumberbund).
Noooooo! You're going to die! (Just kidding!)
I am a better diver than my friends who use BP's or Jacket style BC's.....but only if I have more dive experience than them. My friends who dive with BP's or Jacket's that have more experience than me, swim circles around me.
If you want to become a good diver...dive and then dive some more. Don't get so hung up on the minutae of hardware choices that you forget that it is your software that really matters most!
Great point! You know, the funniest thing is that every time I get in the water I remind myself of that... I think, "GEAR is a pain in the neck... Diving with NOTHING would be my best solution, but I can't do that... So I should make it a point to dive with only what I need, and no more... Less is more... Man, I gotta stop spending money on gear and start spending money on dives..." And almost always, no matter what gear I use, I think, "This is a little better (or a little worse) than the last piece of gear I had, but who cares? It doesn't make that much difference. Wow, look at the size of that grouper! Wow, look at the way those rays of light dance across the bow of that wreck... Wow, that's one deep hole... Wow, did you feel that thermocline? Man, this is fun..."
"Whatever Dude, It's all good!"
Bravo!
