OK. This is interesting... A mod seems to have stepped in and changed things and then asked why I hadn't asked for help, and then outlined their view of how this should have worked. Mistakes were made, many on my side. So I'm taking a deep breath.
My biggest point in writing this is that I'm trying to become more humble in my internal thinking, and to better understand where pride and fear have stopped me from making progress. Maybe others might see themselves in it, maybe not. But I can certainly try to apply those lessons in other areas of my life -- like working with ScubaBoard!
There is a *real* difference with this post. In this post, unlike literally every other post I've ever written, I was *not* interested in creating or participating in debate. This is too personal and sensitive. I wanted to encourage others who might feel the same way I did to think about it. But I was not looking for some sort of "solution" to my own situation. In fact, it was that exact evaluate-first-and-only mindset that I was railing against -- accurate or not, such behavior wasn't going to be successful in making me actually *feel* better, and at this point, I'm feeling much more than thinking.
(Don't any of you have spouses? Don't they ever tell you a problem and then remind you that they're not looking for advice, they're simply venting? Or do they just get mad at you and you don't know why? That might be it....... I know I do it enough to *my* spouse -- she's aware enough to remind me of this when it happens.)
In the end, I have come to the conclusion that ScubaBoard is not the proper venue for this. It seems that it is impossible to post something *without* it becoming a debate. And I'm not asking for debate. And the fault is mine: I'm asking round pegs to fit into my square hole. I *could* simply turn this into a impersonal mechanical report of facts and events, but I'm not interested in writing that.
I was told not to tell people when you're leaving -- most don't care, and the only people who will react will react negatively or simply be emboldened. I understand that. But I also don't think it's fair to simply abandon something you've created unfinished. I don't plan on leaving this unfinished, but I don't plan on completing it here.
My wife has asked me to expand on what I've written here in her blog related to homeschool and lifelong learning. She has found that the paralysis and fear that I've inflicted on myself is fairly common when others approach her about the idea of homeschooling and seeing someone else struggle with this would be valuable for her -- someone who is involved with homeschooling already, no less, but has their *own* area of fear and paralysis. So that is what I'm going to do.
There's one big advantage to that: exactly *zero* people will have heard of GUE, and won't bring along their axes to grind!
I *will* post a link when that gets going. And you're welcome to participate there -- there are comments enabled. I *will* keep things sharply on-topic there, and the topic will be primarily learning, not SCUBA. And you're welcome to participate *here*. I very likely won't reply much here, but there might be some. But please: do your thing here.
It probably won't be posted until after the class. I'm going to need to re-write the introduction, and I may not finish before. But I will write things up as I go along, and it will get up.
So I don't really think I'm taking my ball and going home; I'm more taking my tennis ball off the basketball court, where it should have never been. If you want to play tennis, come along!
I'm still figuring this out as I go along. I'm sorry for the disruption. I appreciate your patience.
His big ego just couldn't handle the fact that he needed to improve in order to pass. An overinflated ego can certainly cause huge misperceptions.
