Military Humor

[Squalus]

I'm just a leg.........

But your legs are awesome

 

[GDI]

I'm A leg as well, did all the training but never made it out of the dam plane for one reason or another something always came up

LEG = Land Exploring Grunt

 

[FreeFloat]

But your legs are awesome

Flattery will get you everywhere

 

[Squalus]

Think I will get on the trip to Tobermory in Sept if your still going to be around the area.

 

[WaterDawg]

here is one that got me some extras No sense of HA Ha these Pilots Have:

Maintenance Report: A/C Seat will not go down

Technician Report: Seat Actuator Ground Checked Serviceable. Seat Goes Up and Goes Down, Pilot Replaced

Heres a great one that I never got to use:

Maintenance Report: Evidence of oil leak under #4 engine

Technician Report: Evidence removed.

 

[Blitz]

Hey, my dad (ex-Navy in a certain Southeast Asia war) always gave me stuff about being crazy enough to volunteer to serve on a ship that I knew was going to sink. I'll be honest, the only way that I am jumping out of a plane is if that thing is on fire.

I may be crazy, but I am not that far gone.....

Just a little service rivalry, relax. Different strokes for different folks.

 

[MLE]

If you know any maintainers it would actually be "Nah, just residual"

 

[Squalus]

A thought occured to me yesterday while paintballing. Why do we have a height requirement in the service???? Getting toasted a couple times by the little people (13 y/o's), they could walk along walls and the barrels and what not on the field and virtually sneak up on you or just hide behind a wall and wait for you to pass. Not to be picking on midgets, but they would make some awesome troopers. I should know, I have the bruises to show.....LOL

 

[FreeFloat]

A thought occured to me yesterday while paintballing. Why do we have a height requirement in the service???? Getting toasted a couple times by the little people (13 y/o's), they could walk along walls and the barrels and what not on the field and virtually sneak up on you or just hide behind a wall and wait for you to pass. Not to be picking on midgets, but they would make some awesome troopers. I should know, I have the bruises to show.....LOL

And we can fit into the littlest foxholes.......

Although, when I dig one to fit me and a fire team partner, it necessarily has to be deep enough to be adequate for him, so I get to stand on teh sandbag(s) so that I can actually fire out of the foxhole ...

For the record I'm 5'2" (in boots!) and I recall the enrolment medic saying something about it was good I wasn't any shorter........

Getting uniforms that fit is a little challenging..... I'm a stock size, barely, but such a rare size the only produce a limited number of uniforms my size. And boots, well, I waited about a year and a half for my second pair to materialize....... and they're still a hair too big!!

 

[cdiver2]

Private walking across the drill square regimental Sgt Maj coming the other way

RSM PRIVET COME HEAR

PVT SIR (coming to attention in front of him)

RSM pokes his pace stick in the privets chest and says there is a dirty soldier at the end of my stick.

Pvt looks at the stick in his chest and along it to the RSM and says witch end sir

RSM very funny get out of hear now.


Same RSM in his office, door opens and a new recruit pokes his head in and asks "any mail for me?'

RSM don't you know how to come in my office? get out and come in again.

recruit closes the door and opens again and asks any mail for me sir.

RSM that is not how you come into my office. Come hear sit in my chair and I'll show you how to come in.
RSM knocks on the door recruit "come in". RSM steps into the room coming smartly to attention " EXCUSE ME SIR IS THERE ANY MAIL FOR ME SIR"

recruit no now f....off

RSM CORPORAL TAKE THIS MAN TO THE GUARD ROOM NOW.


I'm on duty one night all the brass has gone home when the phone rings, me "heaven duty angel speaking". Colonel's voice at the other end god speaking, in my office now Mounsey.

A friend on perimeter fence guard duty one night (WWII) when the Colonel walks up in the dark. Guard challenges asking for the password, the password is given and the Colonel asks the guard "what would you do if a battle ship came over that hill right now?."

Solider thinks a while then says " sink it with a torpedo sir"

Colonel "where are you going to get a torpedo from !"

soldier " same place you got the battle ship from sir"