Long Distance Relationship Advice Please!

[Wormil]

This is how LDR's make Wormy feel....

Like a ninja?

 

[sea_ledford]

LDR's - all the downsides of being in a relationship and all the downsides of being single, without the benefits of either (except once a month/year/biennum/etc and then it's mostly just the nookie benefit).

Have been in a few in the past. Mostly in college... WTF was I thinking??!!

 

[ScubaSam]

With caution so I don't get herpes. That's a rule. Like 3.

I'll lay out some dating rules for people.

1.) Don't died.
2.) Don't died some one else.
3.) Don't get herpes.
4.) If you break rule 1, at least break it while doing something that could lead to breaking rule 3.
5.) If you break rule 2, at least break it while doing something that could lead to breaking rule 3.

We're all gonna die unless you know of a way to avoid dying.

 

[Wormil]

We're all gonna die unless you know of a way to avoid dying.

Just don't do it on a date. I'd be mad if some chick died while I was on a date, unless it was because she had the most amazing sex ever. Then I'd be like ALL RIGHT. Gigggity.

 

[DandyDon]

Just don't do it on a date. I'd be mad if some chick died while I was on a date, unless it was because she had the most amazing sex ever. Then I'd be like ALL RIGHT. Gigggity.

Way too much paperwork. And if it was slow news week, you could get branded for life - which could be a benefit or a problem, depending on the reporter's views.

 

[Wormil]

Way too much paperwork. And if it was slow news week, you could get branded for life - which could be a benefit or a problem, depending on the reporter's views.

Well, considering my job as an awesome guy, I don't think it's a problem.

 

[mselenaous]

Life is too short to be with the wrong person or in the wrong job or in the wrong location. Find your bliss!!!

Great quote, Deb.
Great thread even if Wormil de-railed it - at least he's funny.

How did you meet? I blame Scubaboard. DEMA 2006 casually, first date after DEMA 2009
Did the relationship start out as long distance or local? LD
What was the distance apart? Bi-coastal: Orlando-LosAngeles
How often did you see each other? not very. Like Debby, one of our early dates was an adventure, the mother of all car dates . We had no choice but to talk and really get to know each other as we took 10 days to drive cross-country. We stayed with 4 of my dearest oldest best friends in 4 states along the way. After my poor choices in a couple of previous bad relationships, I decided that my GFs who've known me the longest should determine if he was worthy. And he passed the "girlfriends approval" test, and even passed the "family" test too. He now understands the source of my insanity.
What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcam Mostly email, phone, text, SB PMs
How often did you communicate? started out every few days eventually several times/day
What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them? just 3? Each day brings new challenges and new solutions to the old challenges. Gotta take it one day at a time.
What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success?lots of communication
How long did the LDR last? only time will tell
If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated?2.5 months (I was already working on returning to FL)
Sorta...moved within 120 miles/2hrs dive (much closer than 3K miles). Moved again, now its 300 miles/4.5 hrs drive. :shocked2:
As they said in the movie, "Going the Distance", "At least we are now in the same state in the same time zone."
How did it turn out? Ask the kitties.
Would you do it again and why/not?The best thing he said to me was, "I hope you've been on your last first date. I know I have."
Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what? First, win the lottery so $ & jobs aren't an issue and don't get in the way.

If there is anything else I should have asked?

Thanks!

 

[ScubaSam]

Elena, great idea running him through the GF and family test. I'd be lost without my GFs and family.

Good luck.

 

[DebbyDiver]

How often did you see each other? not very. Like Debby, one of our early dates was an adventure, the mother of all car dates

. We had no choice but to talk and really get to know each other as we took 10 days to drive cross-country. We stayed with 4 of my dearest oldest best friends in 4 states along the way. After my poor choices in a couple of previous bad relationships, I decided that my GFs who've known me the longest should determine if he was worthy. And he passed the "girlfriends approval" test, and even passed the "family" test too. He now understands the source of my insanity.

Ah, I totally didn't think about posting this, but how very important!!! Thanks, Elena! It was uber-important to both of us to meet as many of each other's friends, and in his case some of his family (he has relatives local to me), as possible. My friends were totally enchanted by him, and people who were previous doubters have all given their overwhelming thumbs up. His family was very welcoming and loving to me. I met friends of his who live here, as well as friends who live on island, and several took me aside to tell me what a great guy Tom is. Some of his friendships go back the 34 years he's been on island. Great, interesting, fun people.

I really believe that if you want to know how a person is, spend time in their company with friends and/or family present, then you will see the real person. So far, WOW! I guess I passed his test, too.

 

[annasea]

YES! THIS IS SUCH A VALID POINT. BECAUSE NO ONE IS CAPABLE OF BEING TWO FACED, EVER. lol.

For all you folks in a LDR, who are heads over heels in love with the person, I'd ask myself this, "How many times have we met? How well do I -really- know this person?". I can and do type anything I want on this forum, in emails, etc. Amazingly, with a bit of work, I even write some nice emails that make people think I'm a nice guy. It's amazingly easy to tell people you love them....

Don't be afraid to find some strange, enjoy your life, don't waste away on something that might not happen. For all you who found some long distance love, awesome.

I guess I wasn't clear in my post since you missed my point...

People come before places (at least for me) so if someone is fortunate enough to believe she/he has found the right person, the next step is to relocate. Hence my kudos to people like DebbyDiver and k ellis who have moved for love.

While I think LDRs are a great way to initiate a relationship, I question how they can endure without someone moving eventually...