Long Distance Relationship Advice Please!

[drydiver]

If you have experience with long distance relationships, your input on the following questions would be greatly appreciated

How did you meet?
Did the relationship start out as long distance or local?
What was the distance apart?
How often did you see each other?
What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcam
How often did you communicate?
What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them?
What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success?
How long did the LDR last?
If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated?
How did it turn out?
Would you do it again and why/not?
Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what?

If there is anything else I should have asked?

Thanks!

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

If you have experience with long distance relationships, your input on the following questions would be greatly appreciated

How did you meet?Playing pool in a bar.
Did the relationship start out as long distance or local?local
What was the distance apart?An ocean, a sea, and two continents.
How often did you see each other?every 6 months.
What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcamwebcam, voice.
How often did you communicate?every 3 or 4 days or so.
What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them?The biggest problem is trust and jealousy. You have to be secure enough to not be jealous of nothings, and you have to trust him and you.
What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success?I didn't wind my whole existence around him, I made sure to live on my end and be happy, and I made sure that he knew I trusted and and was secure in our relationship.
How long did the LDR last?We will be married 20 years in June.
If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated? On the big distance time, it was 18 months.
How did it turn out? married
Would you do it again and why/not?yep
Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what?I would have invested in Apple..... Nope. Not a thing.

If there is anything else I should have asked? Prolly, let me drink more wine. I'll let you know.

Thanks!

Welcome

 

[ScubaSam]

Frequent communication whether text, phone, webcam and/or IMs are important to help close the distance and lack of physical presence. Dee hits all the correct points about trust and jealousy.

It's important to have activities and interests in your life, and enjoy them, apart from him/her. Meeting up with each other as much as the wallet and the schedule allows. Both parties have to be committed to the long distance thing for it to work.

Pass the wine, Dee.

 

[Teamcasa]

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A ScubaBoard Staff Message...

Moved to NDR

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[Rhone Man]

Never ceases to amaze me the variety of subjects on SB....

My wife and I spent two years 'apart' (the year just before and the year after we were married).

If you have experience with long distance relationships, your input on the following questions would be greatly appreciated

How did you meet? At a party
Did the relationship start out as long distance or local? Local
What was the distance apart? 4,500 miles
How often did you see each other? About three times a year, for 3-4 weeks each time
What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcam Mostly letters and the occasional phone call (it was just before e-mail became popular, and I was too broke to call long distance often - it would have been a heck of a lot easier if we had had Skype and webcams back then...)
How often did you communicate? 2-3 times a week
What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them? I felt a bit hampered socially. All my friends would go out partying and drinking, but there was a part of me that was always worried if I partied it up too hard I might make a mistake I'd regret a long time. The flip side was I used to fret about her going out partying and making a mistake. But you don't want to crimp her fun, or come across as jealous or paranoid. Life is tough sometimes.
What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success? Communication is key. I saw a lot of long distance relationships break up when I was in college, and a lot of times it traces back to simple miscommunication. You also need a lot of trust, otherwise it just won't fly. Try and enjoy your time apart in your own way. I went out and did a lot of "guy stuff" figuring that I may as well if I am "single".
How long did the LDR last? The "long distance" part continued for 2 years.
If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated? 2 years
How did it turn out? Still married 19 years later.
Would you do it again and why/not? Hope I won't ever need to! But if my wife was to pass away, and I met the right gal, I guess.
Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what? I don't think so. As a very good (much older) friend of mine once said. A good relationship is worth working at. But make no mistake - you have to work hard sometimes!

If there is anything else I should have asked? Worth knowing if it was exclusive. All relationships were (supposed to be) exclusive in the old days, but people get up to crazy stuff now.

Thanks!

Hope that helps.

 

[Wormil]

LDR is a dumb idea imo. Just date whoever and if you get back together at some point, you do, if you don't or you found some one else locally who you like more, no big deal.

 

[Wookie]

If you have experience with long distance relationships, your input on the following questions would be greatly appreciated

How did you meet?Nekkid in a hot spring in Idaho
Did the relationship start out as long distance or local?Local
What was the distance apart?1500 miles once, 8,000 miles the second time.
How often did you see each other?Every 3 months
What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcamOnly phone existed back then.
How often did you communicate?Daily
What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them?Loneliness, My spending habits, lackanookie
What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success?I wouldn't call it successful, nor would I repeat it.
How long did the LDR last?10 years total. Longest time apart 6 months.
If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated?3 months first time, 6 months second time
How did it turn out? In divorce
Would you do it again and why/not?No.
Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what?I wouldn't spend so much time apart. and haven't

If there is anything else I should have asked?

Thanks!

You're welcome

 

[dmoore19]

If you have experience with long distance relationships, your input on the following questions would be greatly appreciated

How did you meet?
We were introduced by mutual friends, via email

Did the relationship start out as long distance or local? Long distance

What was the distance apart?
300 miles
How often did you see each other?

at first about once a month, then twice a month

What were the modes of communication? ie voice, text, im, webcam
Some emails, mostly voice

How often did you communicate?
once a week, then more frequently then every day.

What were 3 challenges of a LDR and how did you cope with them? 1. My travel made it difficult to set times to see each other. 2. Telephone bills, 3. telephone bills
What were 3 things that you did which contributed to the LDR's success? 1. Allowing things to develop at their own speed. 2. Being flexible and learning to cope with being 300 miles away from each other. 3. being prepared to travel on short notice for short times spent together.
How long did the LDR last?
12 years so far
If applicable, how long was it before one of you relocated?
+/- 9 months
How did it turn out?
Happily married for the last 10 years
Would you do it again and why/not?
absolutely, THE finest woman I have ever met.
Is there anything you would have done differently, if so, what?
Listened to my friend and met her earlier

If there is anything else I should have asked?
nope
Thanks!

I can only hope you are as lucky as I was.

 

[Wormil]

Sappy Sleepless In Seattle type stories.

 

[Scott L]

LDR's work by one or the other moving, otherwise, I agree with Wormil...