I think you missed two more sides. There are at least four sides in this thread.
3rd side are those who think ponys should never be used.
4th side are those like me that think its crazy to be telling us we shouldnt use a pony at all. not that ill use a pony every dive or maybe i will who knows. depends on dive buddy and dive situation. maybe that makes me one of your two sides.
When I started diving I was at a divingclub with padi divers. People were already telling me that it as not safe to dive with unknown divers you met from internet. But I didn't agree wih that. People are always telling me that is hard to find a good buddy. But I don’t think it’s hard to find a good buddy. Try to be a good buddy and don’t dive again with divers you don’t like.
If I want to do a tech dive to 51 meter that is possible for me with a unknown buddy. It is also possible for me to do a cavedive of 3 hours with an unknown buddy. I did both last year.
If you want to dive with a good buddy you should also be a good buddy by yourself. And sometimes you have to travel a longer distance. It will be harder to plan a trip with friends than just go diving with unknown buddy’s.
For me it makes diving more fun to have a good buddy and the same goal and plan during the dive. That is a choice I made.It’s easier complain about skills of other people and use a pony. That’s a choice you make. Everbody is responsible for his own choices. But when I dive single tank, my dives are safe enough to dive without pony. If I don't like a dive or buddy I will cancel the dive.
Just keep in mind though, this has been your experience so far. It completely differs from mine presently.