Inclusive Blonde Jokes Thread

[Mako Mark]

Andy, you rock.........

my favorites are the "your mama is so fat.." jokes, but I think those would draw the wrath of the mod squad, and I am hiding from them.

 

[HammerNoMore]

Ok, I'm going to throw in my favorite blonde oldie here. My blonde sister in law didn't like blonde jokes, not because they offended her but because she'd heard them all one too many times, still this was a new one for her and she appreciated it...

The doors to a bar burst open and in come four exuberant blondes.


They come up to the bartender, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.

The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows.

"51 days, 51 days, 51days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm.

She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.

Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster.

When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration 'bout?" The blonde who brought in the picture pipes up, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us,So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

 

[glbirch]

A guy finds himself sitting next to a gorgeous blonde on an airplane. He says to her, “Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The blonde, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off her glasses and asks, “What would you like to discuss?”

The first guy says, “Oh, I don't know; how about Nuclear Power?”

The blonde says, “OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets; the cow, big patties; and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?”

The guy says, “I don't know.”

The blonde says, “Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know sh**?”

 

[H2Andy]

ah.... ok...

i don't get it =(

 

[mempilot]

Blonde jokes are funny and appropriate. I know a lot of blondes and all these jokes seem to fit.

I'm ROTFLMAO!

 

[glbirch]

ah.... ok...

i don't get it =(

Well, how about this one then...

A guy walks into a bar and starts chatting with a tall, attractive blonde woman. During the course of the conversation he says would you like to hear a 'blonde' joke?

"Well", says the girl, "I'm obviously blonde, I'm 6 feet tall without heels and I've been training in judo for the past 5 years."

Raising her voice slightly she went on, "My friend sitting next to me is blonde, she's 6 feet 2 inches tall, has been involved in karate for 10 years, she's a black belt and has been Southern Counties Ladies' Champion for the past 3 years.

Lastly she added "The lady sitting next to her is blonde, she’s 6 feet 4 inches tall, weighs over 200 pounds and is a professional wrestler. Now, do you still want to tell the joke about a blonde ?"

"Well no" came the reply, "Not if I've got to explain it 3 times".

 

[Former FLL Now MSP Diver]

A blond was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blond returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 POUNDS!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blond nodded..."I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping."


Marc

 

[wstein]

yet another joke at a blondes expense........tell another!!

paul

 

[RIDIVER501]

A blonde is walking along the east bank of a river. trying to find out how to get to the otherside.
After a while she see another blonde so she yells over to the other side... "hey how do you get to the other side of this river."

The other blonde shouts back, "You are on the other side of the river."

 

[RIDIVER501]

A blonde jumps into an elevator and she is so happy that it is Friday that when a business man get on at the next stop she pipes up and says T.G.I.F. The business man says, S.H.I.T and continues to ready his wall street journal.
Puzzled the Blonde again say T.G.I.F, but the man again offhandedly replies, S.H.I.T.
She once again meekly proclaims T.G.I.F. but he shakes his head and says S.H.I.T
The door open for her floor and she step out and with her hands on her hips say “Thank God its Friday, geez” As the door is closing he fold his paper under his arm and say, “Sorry Honey It’s Thursday.”