Inclusive Blonde Jokes Thread

[Scuba_Jenny]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said, how much will you charge me?"

The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should; she's standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"

"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blonde joke emails we've been receiving."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

 

[polkster13]

Q: How do you put a sparkle in a dumb blond's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

A blond was driving through the country side one day when she happened across a field. In the middle of the field was another blond sitting in a row boat. The driver stopped her car and stood and watched the blond in the boat for several minutes. Finally, she yelled to the other blond, "What are you doing?" The blond in the boat answered back "I am rowing".

The driver shouted back "It is because of idiots like you that give all of us blonds a bad name. Please stop your rowing!" The rower continued to row despite the protests from the driver.

The driver continued to plead with the rower to stop rowing while the rower just ignored her. Finally the infurated driver shouted, "If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your a**!"

 

[Cactusdiver1]

Here is a new version of Microsoft WORD for blondes...and it comesd with an easy to read "How to use" manual.

 

[Albion]

a blond and a computer

You only have to punch the information into a computer once
(kinda redneck blond joke)


Why do they only teach car maintenance on monday Wednesday and friday at blond schools, cos the car is need for sex eduction on tuesday and thursday

 

[FreeFloat]

Albion once bubbled...
Why do they only teach car maintenance on monday Wednesday and friday at blond schools, cos the car is need for sex eduction on tuesday and thursday

How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?

She opens the car door

 

[Divecop]

I've got a pretty good one but I'm reluctant to throw it out there due to the "distastful and inappropriate" thing. Who knows, lemme think about it.

 

[Bloop]

Go Ahead! The more the merrier.

 

[The Chairman]

but discretion has to be used. If it is that distasteful, then it shouldn't be posted. Thanks in advance!

 

[Raven C]

When I was in high school in the Uh Hum 80's LOL the most popular Blonde joke went as follows:

How would you discribe a blonde and three brunettes standing in the parking lot at Pizza Hut?

Regular Price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks.

hea hea hea

_____________________

How many blondes does it take to change a burnt out lightbulb?
One to hold the bulb and three to move the ladder.


One blonde stands up and say, "nuh uh. I am more edumacated than that!"
The other says, "What a minute! How dare you? I resemble that remark!"

 

[bhapps24]

A blonde walks into a libraryand says"I WOULD LIKE A BURGER AND FRIES WITH A COLA"
The librarian replied "I,m sorry this is a library"
The blode then said "i'm sorry, could i have a burger and fries with a cola" in a soft wispering voice.