If you had your life to live over

[Otter]

I just started reading A Road Less Traveled. The first sentence of the first chapter is "Life is difficult." It goes on to say that once you truly accept that, its is liberating. You become more "suprised" when it isn't and enjoy the good times. There is more in the book and I haven't read much and it may turn out to be garbage, but I liked the first sentence enough to pickup the book.

That being said, I am completely comfortable with the fact that I have made, and will continue to make, poor decisions. Thats just a fact of life. We aren't perfect. Changing any of the 'bad' decisions may have precluded me from making the 'good' decisions..so my advice around this subject is to just make the best decision possible and don't look back.

If I had to offer just one piece of advice to my teenage sons it would be don't live your life being afraid. I suspect that a common thread through most of the posts is fear -- fear of not being accepted, fear of making the wrong decision, physical fear, and the like. While it may keep us alive in some situations, I believe FEAR is the single most important factor limiting happiness -- sometimes we are even AFRAID TO BE HAPPY.

 

[Aquabella]

whatever wrinkles...have you noticed that I have restrained myself from making any comments about the topic specifically except to say I have a different opinion? Yet you all just have to shove it in my face don't you? Oh yeah, then you say you hope the thread gets back on track. riiiight.

But hey, I hope it does.

 

[keytofreedom]

I love "The Road Less Travelled". I think it's a classic and I read it every time I'm feeling a little defeated. Gave it to my college-aged son who was going through a rough time. Think about passing it on to your boys after you've read it. There's a lot in there for them.

That's a profound statement, "Sometimes we are even afraid to be happy". Really made me think.

And I agree, fear is our greatest enemy. If you face your fears and go through them, you grow. I'm experimenting with this in my own life and am thinking about tackling my fear of heights with a little skydive! Gotta work up to it, though. Might start with standing on a balcony first.

Oscar Lavant once said, "Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination". Good thing to remember, but hard to do on a daily basis....a little easier if you keep Scott Peck's words in the forefront..."Life is difficult....Life is difficult...Life is difficult".

 

[hnladue]

..hhmmmmm, well. I wouldn't have stayed with the same bf thru high school. There was 7 years wasted. And then I wouldn't have stayed with the next one either...another 7 years down the drain. When he was buying a new house he asked what I would like and I told him an engagement ring!!! Boy did he get mad....should've left then. 3 years later he decided I was too fat and told me to leave.

I regret being 33 yrs old and living at home with my parents. But if I wasn't there, they would have lost the house and everything. I'm the breadwinner now. Dad can't find a job and mom makes a whole $7/hr!! Woohoo!! Since I'm an only child I felt I had to be there.

I guess the biggest change would be to learn to stand up for myself and not let so many people push me around! As for my parents, I cherish the time I have with them and will enjoy every minute I get. Someday things will change and I will be glad I made this decision.

 

[diverjed]

If I could really turn back the clock, you know what I would do??


I would have purchased that wreck reel I came across at the 50% off sale my LDS was having earlier this summer.

I really blew it, because it'll be awhile before I run across that again.

 

[Raven C]

I've read this thread for a couple days now and still all I can say is "hummmm." I'll get back to you.


PS

For those of you who know me and my posts, no comment is a hugh statement. R

 

[kelpmermaid]

I would have started diving sooner, and would look more like RavenC!

 

[Otter]

keytofreedom once bubbled...
I.... I'm experimenting with this in my own life and am thinking about tackling my fear of heights with a little skydive! Gotta work up to it, though. Might start with standing on a balcony first...

I too have/had a fear of heights. Surprisingly, I think diving has helped alot. Flying through the water where there is 100+ viz like Coz seemed to have taken much of the edge off of heights for me. I have also been rock climbing with my boys and that seemed to help. Maybe I/you can write off a trip to Cozumel as a medical expense.....Just a thought!

 

[DameDykker]

Two quotes gomes to mind:

Live like you'r going to die tomorrow - AND like you'r going to be 100 years old.

Nobody ever laid on their deathbed and complained that they spend too little time at work!

A relative of mine saved all adventours and traveling to after retirement. Now he's ill and won't ever do them

Don't let that happen to you!

 

[grazie42]

Ok, I´ve read the previous posts and think most of them make a great deal of sense but as I agree with the "medium is the message" school of thought here´s my attempt to formulate my ideas about this subject and maybe make a few converts
Here goes:
I regret the things I haven´t done, not the ones I have...
my biggest regret is of course not having done more "things".
My approach is not to dwell on this but instead to try to do more things TODAY, or tommorow and I find that attitude helpful in getting over my regrets over past inaction.

I´m open to trying everything (well almost anyway) once and I think that helps me do things that I might otherwise not dare to do.

I also try to continuosly learn new things as I feel that helps me grow as a person, I wouldn´t go so far as to say that a person is the sum of his/her experiences but I think it´s pretty close to the truth.

I find it ironic that a lot of people live their lives as if they fear life more than death (even if they usually claim the opposite).

The theory of a multiverse is also a comforting thougt during those times when regret threatens to overwhelm me, that somewhere there is a version of me living the path of the different choices...

Any regrets? -Only my regrets!!