If you had your life to live over

[OHDiver]

I only have that advice to offer because I have learned it "the hard way"... I am actually in the process of...
I am still trying to figure out just how to go about finding out who I am and what I want... Any suggestions? hee-hee
Wish me LUCK!!!

And Thanks.... I am glad I was able to express what myself and others feel, it is often difficult to put these thoughts into words...

 

[totalangel]

keytofreedom - after reading the other posts I changed your question a little - I'm thinking "What's the best thing I did for myself?"

Do I have regrets? Sure, I do. The more pressing question is: have I learned from them? That's what got me thinking about the best thing I've ever done for myself. My answer to that would be the year I took off from dating and worked to figure out what it was I wanted out of life instead of trying to find "the one" I thought would make my life complete.

I think we have to make our own mistakes to learn from them - especially growing up. The tears and the smiles sculpt us into the unique individuals we each become.

The advice I would give to youngsters is - enjoy your childhood, don't be in a rush to grow up, take time to appreciate the beauty within yourself, and learn to love yourself.

diverbrian - I've seen some of your other posts - you are such a wonderful soul!

 

[keytofreedom]

diverbrian and OHdiver - Seems to me the common thread here is that we're all still learning. When we were young we already knew everything. It is true, the older you get the less you know. I suppose life teaches us humility.

OHdiver, wish I did have some suggestions for you. Maybe some kid will offer us some (hah!)

You know, there's some country song that states, "Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then". Now that might be a good place to start another thread.

Keep thinking.

 

[Aquabella]

I would say 21 is to young to get married and have a family. Especially if your partner is close to your age. There is just no way you can know yourselves or have enough life experience.

I would also say how important it is to try to get a direction in life early and go for it with all you have. Putting in the work in your highschool years leads to university or college or trade school. It's so much easier to do it then instead of in your 30's when you have four children.

In saying those to things I have to add the flip side. I don't think I could have been the quite the same type of mother if I was older and had a big career to deal with. And as I deal with school and all now the boys get a front row seat and are just sucking it all up. They see the hard work, the exciting things you get to do and the pay-offs.

I guess I don't know which is better...but I have to say, they are so utterly wonderful that I couldn't imagine any other life :hart:

 

[Juls64]

that I have not made the best decisions. I have two high school aged kids, and I now find myself trying to coach them into not making the same decisions.

One of these was not having a good goal as far as further education and/or career choice. I took basic course work in college, had no hobbies other than partying, didn't have a clue what to do. I think it hurt me because I ended up without any real job skills or marketable abilities.

I encourage my kids to have a goal, any goal, and work towards it. If they want to change their mind, thats fine, but have some kind of plan. I encourage them to plan non-traditionally even. I don't expect them to be doctors, teachers or policeman, unless they choose. To use diving as an example, they are both certified divers. In conversation I bring up they could become divemasters, instructors, get a Coast Guard certification and drive the boat, commercial diving. My daughter is interested in nursing, she could work on a cruise ship, in hyperbaric medicine, etc.

This is just one aspect of their lives. They have a lot of interests and I break those down as well and try to present possible career choices to them. I think had I been better prepared , I would be a little further ahead financially than I am today. We do Ok, and I do get to dive regularly.

Thats my message!

Juls

 

[diverbrian]

keytofreedom once bubbled...
diverbrian and OHdiver - Seems to me the common thread here is that we're all still learning. When we were young we already knew everything. It is true, the older you get the less you know. I suppose life teaches us humility.

OHdiver, wish I did have some suggestions for you. Maybe some kid will offer us some (hah!)

You know, there's some country song that states, "Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then". Now that might be a good place to start another thread.

Keep thinking.

Actually, that is Bob Seger. I don't know what they call it, but it isn't quite country. That is one of my favorites. The title is Against the Wind.

 

[drbill]

What would I do differently, or advise another to do?

First, I always advise people to "follow your bliss" (in the words of Joseph Campbell). Fortunately my bliss has always involved doing things that I enjoy and that benefit others as well. I don't just dive, I write about my experiences and produce videos about it for divers and non-divers alike. It is good to share.

I am one who made the decision early in life not to have children or get married (well, maybe the three women I asked made that decision for me!). I knew mnyself well enough to feel that I would always pit a lot of my effort into the things I do, and probably not enough into my family.

Now that I have discovered I have a son, I will at least get some of the benefits of family although I missed quite a bit of his life because his mother hid the truth from me.

Because of my early decisions in life I have learned much about myself (still a lot of "mystery" to fathom though). Because of those decisions I've had the freedom of living a "genuine" life doing the things I thought were important, giving myself the time to enjoy this world we experience perhaps but once.

By not raising a family I had the money to travel if I was willing. One thing I would change there is to overcome my early fears of flying and great white sharks. Have done that now.

Other changes... I would have done more diving in my early years and spent less time teaching and in the office. I would have traveled and backpacked more.

I look forward to living my life with this freedom I have chosen and the fears resolved, and now with the added joy of getting to know my 19-year old son.

I would advise younger folks not to rush into marriage, to be sure they want a family and are willing to dedicate the time and love to nurture their spousal relationship and raise the children properly.

Now it is time to look for a partner for the rest of my life. She would have to be a diver and be able to live a life of unpredictability and voluntary simplicity so we could afford long international diving trips.

Dr. Bill

 

[divemistress]

life is so unpredictable. you'll probably meet a fabulous woman who has never been diving, nor ever thought of going diving. and then what will you do???

 

[sealkie]

Looking at this over populated, poluted raped planet I don`t think anyone in the western world over school age has the right to offer advice to anyone !

But for what it`s worth -mine would be

Take every chance to see good rock bands live

Make you own mistakes - even if they are same as someone else`s with very little effort and imagination you can add you own twist

 

[drbill]

Sealkie- There are those of us who have been working in the environmental education and conservation arena for decades. I don't think you can judge all people due to the results of things in part out of our control.

Many of my friends make conscious decisions every day: the food they eat (trying to ensure it makes the most sense ecologically), the electricity they use, whether they drive a fuel efficient car (or drive at all for that matter). There are people who have reduced their personal impact on the environmental substantially by these many person choices.

One cannot condemn all westerners, or all humans for that matter. Eastern cultures like China, as well as the eastern Mediteranean residents, deforested their landscapes for fuel, building materials, etc. There are third world cultures that overfish their reefs, and those that conserve them. There were aboriginal cultures which hunted their food to local extinction and moved on to new hunting grounds. There are those that conserved their local resources and "managed" them for sustainability.

Know in the end, 4.5 billion years from niw, none of our choices will make any difference as the Earth incinerates when the Sun novas. Perspective... historical, geological or astronomical... is important too.

Dr. Bill