If you had your life to live over

[cobaltbabe]

I would have gone on with my education. I chose to work for a year and that was the worse descision I have made. I would also travel more. I don't regret having my children at all but I think I would have waited a little longer. I was 25 with my first one. I also would have lived on my own for a while to be able to find out who I was/am instead of being my parents child and then going directly into being my ex husbands wife. It is different for everyone.

 

[Spectre]

But I think regret is a dangerous thing on both sides of the coin. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone makes bad decisions. I however find it completely useless to look back and wonder how things would be different if you did x rather than y. Sure, there are plenty of things that I might say I would rather I did differently, but I didn't, and there is no changing that, and it's probably safe to assume I wouldn't be who I am now if I made different choices.

I can't even honestly say that I wouldn't have started smoking. Because I've made many friends and enriched my life with the little smoker conversations I've had over the years. It's all part of how I got to where I am now.

Now instead of looking back and thinking about what you could have done differently, look at who you are now, and decide if there is something you want to change for the future. Living in the past serves no useful benefit what-so-ever... If you don't like who you are, do something about it, rather than dreaming about what you could have done before.

 

[divemistress]

Spectre once bubbled...
If you don't like who you are, do something about it, rather than dreaming about what you could have done before.

 

[raviepoo]

keytofreedom once bubbled...


raviepoo - I admire your courage. Those are the kind of things I wish our girls would listen to....abortion damages us. We may not (or may) think it's wrong, but it still damages the soul of the woman who enters into it. You keep telling it like it is!

It didn't damage my soul, actually. It was an empowering experience for me. I was able to control my own destiny by saying "No," to an accident thrust on me by birth control failure. I opted to choose my own time and terms to become a parent.

I regret it now, however, because the right opportunity to choose parenthood has never been available to me. If I had know at the time that I was in my only pregnancy, I would not have chosen to terminate.

I support any woman who chooses to say no to accidents of biology. I also support the choice to carry a pregnancy to term. The only thing I have a problem with is anyone who tries to use guilt shame or religion as a weapon to to influence that choice.

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

Great thread! And a lot of good stuff to read, interesting points of view.

I can't live my life over. When I first started reading this thread and wondering what I would do over, I originally was thinking about going to college instead of the racetrack (horses). But if I went to college I would never experienced riding in total oneness with a horse, hearing the wind and feeling the raw beautiful power in my hands as the horse thunders around the track. It would of taken me a lot longer to learn to stop and watch the sunrise. I would not know the joy of working around those magificant animals or the lonliness of the racetrack lifestyle.

I too, have made some dumb decisions, and today I can choose to learn from those mistakes or continue to make them.

I tell my child that it is ok to make mistakes, to try different things, to expermint. Yet for what you do, there are consquenses, and you must be willing to accept those consquenses, good or bad. But most importantly, enjoy life! Learn to laugh!

 

[Aquabella]

raviepoo once bubbled...


It didn't damage my soul, actually. It was an empowering experience for me. I was able to control my own destiny by saying "No," to an accident thrust on me by birth control failure. I opted to choose my own time and terms to become a parent.

I regret it now, however, because the right opportunity to choose parenthood has never been available to me. If I had know at the time that I was in my only pregnancy, I would not have chosen to terminate.

I support any woman who chooses to say no to accidents of biology. I also support the choice to carry a pregnancy to term. The only thing I have a problem with is anyone who tries to use guilt shame or religion as a weapon to to influence that choice.

Yes...we hear you. Do we have to talk about here though? I respectfully ask you not to. Some of us have different opinions yet don't really want to get into a debate on SB about it. The whole thing makes me feel ill. Please.

 

[divemistress]

look at the title of this thread -- if you had your life to live over....
raviepoo was posting on that subject. additionally, she had been asked (by me) for a clarification of a previous post, because there were conflicting interpretations.

it seems to me that this is exactly the place raviepoo should be placing such a post. i wouldn't have the courage to do it myself, but i admire her strength/honesty/ferocity.

very respectfully, i would suggest that you skip this thread if it upsets you. or, take the challenge if you prefer.

best,

dm

 

[Aquabella]

raviepoo once bubbled...

I support any woman who chooses to say no to accidents of biology. I also support the choice to carry a pregnancy to term. The only thing I have a problem with is anyone who tries to use guilt shame or religion as a weapon to to influence that choice.

You know...I know that's what you like, to have a scrap...I can tell. I'm not into it dm, ok? I take the subject seriously enough that talking about it on some little chat site seems insulting.

I wasn't talking about her original post or how she felt about it. It just the... I THINK THIS... stuff shoved in the face at the end that I didn't think it was appropriate. I tried to say it in the nicest way possible and certainly don't think I insulted her or her beliefs.

So what's your problem...you like to fight don't you?

I'm not, and I'm not hijacking a good thread either...

 

[wrinkles]

I am a little taken back about the last few posts. It is kinda odd but it kinda pertains to me in a way. When i was orginally reading the thread i was thinking if i had to do it over again i would do the same as many....not let love totally emerse me to where i lose myself completely.

Then it was odd that when i actually read the last few posts it is the question that most everyone asks me. If i would do it over again would i take back being a mother at such a young age? I was 17 when I had my son and was in love and thought i had my life all worked out. word to the wise if your 17 you dont have it all figured out lol. I would never take back having my son becuase he is a part of me and couldnt imagine thiniking of how it would be without him. But would i recommend being in a 6 year relationship starting at 16 and getting pregnant becuase you have everything worked out in your head...ofcourse not. lol . But would I change it now....no way. It does make life a little more challenging but i am learning everyday. And when i do find that true love of my life I will be bringing something extra special.

Aquabella said:
I take the subject seriously enough that talking about it on some little chat site seems insulting

I feel that if she felt comfortable about posting it then she should be more than welcome to. it is afterall a thread about choices and advice.

Raviepoo said:
I support any woman who chooses to say no to accidents of biology. I also support the choice to carry a pregnancy to term. The only thing I have a problem with is anyone who tries to use guilt shame or religion as a weapon to to influence that choice

I agree.

I often disagree with some of the post she(raviepoo) makes but after all this is a public form and she has a right to her opinion. But i happen to agree with this comment, there should be no pressure on a woman to make a decision that will impact the rest of her life.

Hopefully this thread gets back on track and we all can see that we are very different people with different experiences, different opinions, and lots of different learning experiences that hopefully we can all apprecaite and maybe learn from.

Ana

Ps sorry for all the runon sentences and misspelling LOL some teacher i am LOL poor students.

 

[PhotoTJ]

Big things? I would have tried just a bit harder to save a kid that drowned where I was fishing when I was 15. I've always felt I could have swam a bit harder.

Little things? Hmmm...I would not have been as shy as I was when I was younger. Otherwise, I don't think I'd change much. I might not have jumped a bicycle into my neighbor's pond, and I wouldn't have tried to take up Bullriding again when I was 35. (One hospital visit later...) I would have saved more money in 99, although I did have a blast spending it.

By and large, not much. I'm broke, but pretty happy!