Sometimes equalizing is a matter of technique not inability. Has your wife seen a diving doc to be sure that this is definitely a problem? Generally if you have no difficulty flying you can dive.
I have been leading groups of diver/non divers for 15 years and there are definite do's and don'ts if you want to travel together and have fun.
First, look for a resort that is a hotel with diving rather than a dive resort. In a dive resort, it is eat, sleep, live and only talk about diving. The resort is usually empty during the day because everyone is diving. If you find a hotel that also has diving, she may find there are others to meet and have fun with while you are enjoying your dives.
Second, if you want to compromise on your vacation, agree to do two dives a day in the morning and spend the afternoon with her and then take one complete day off. (also be careful because depending on the distance to the dive sites, some "morning" dives return at one or even two o'clock.
Third, consider traveling with a group where there are other non divers. My divers have traveled together for years and many of the non divers look forward to dive trips so they can hang out together! We have one woman who travels with us who also can't dive (asthma) but she LOVES the fish so we bring her our photos and I mark a list for her after each dive and she compiles the trip fish lists. She has become an expert in fish ID and truly can join in our dive discussions!
Fourth, if you like to cruise, skip the dive live aboards with your wife and consider a small cruise ship with diving. Admittedly, they don't get to the best dive sites in an area (I know I ran a dive program on a cruise ship for 5 years) BUT it gives YOU a chance to get wet and her many other options.
Hope that helps! If you have more questions, feel free to email me!