How do you manage your non-diving spouse / significant other?

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Hello Robint -

She tried diving once in Key Largo. The deepest she could descend was five ft. Later she got checked by a doc and it was diagnosed that she had a minor ear problem which was not minor when you add the pressure factor. We were told that it is something that can be corrected but because it is only a problem while diving and her first experience with diving was not that great - she does not seem very eager to take care of that problem and get back into the sea.

In that case, does she want to snorkel? Or is she not wanting to be in the water at all?


robin:D
 
Sometimes equalizing is a matter of technique not inability. Has your wife seen a diving doc to be sure that this is definitely a problem? Generally if you have no difficulty flying you can dive.

I have been leading groups of diver/non divers for 15 years and there are definite do's and don'ts if you want to travel together and have fun.

First, look for a resort that is a hotel with diving rather than a dive resort. In a dive resort, it is eat, sleep, live and only talk about diving. The resort is usually empty during the day because everyone is diving. If you find a hotel that also has diving, she may find there are others to meet and have fun with while you are enjoying your dives.

Second, if you want to compromise on your vacation, agree to do two dives a day in the morning and spend the afternoon with her and then take one complete day off. (also be careful because depending on the distance to the dive sites, some "morning" dives return at one or even two o'clock.

Third, consider traveling with a group where there are other non divers. My divers have traveled together for years and many of the non divers look forward to dive trips so they can hang out together! We have one woman who travels with us who also can't dive (asthma) but she LOVES the fish so we bring her our photos and I mark a list for her after each dive and she compiles the trip fish lists. She has become an expert in fish ID and truly can join in our dive discussions!

Fourth, if you like to cruise, skip the dive live aboards with your wife and consider a small cruise ship with diving. Admittedly, they don't get to the best dive sites in an area (I know I ran a dive program on a cruise ship for 5 years) BUT it gives YOU a chance to get wet and her many other options.

Hope that helps! If you have more questions, feel free to email me!
 
Ah, I see your reply about the ears. I'm not exactly understanding what the ear problem is and how it can be resolved. Could it be more of a fear issue?...perhaps she needs a patient and female instructor to guide her very slowly, starting in a pool just sitting on the bottom.
 
No Mantagirl. It is not an fear issue. She got diagnosed with Vertigo and her ear problem is related to that. I dont think it is permanent and she is presently being treated for that. I just hope she gets well so that we can dive together.
 
I have been married for 4 years. My husband doesn't dive. He's OK with my diving and I have a great bunch of dive buddies at the dive shop. I travel for diving on my own 2 - 4 times a year with the shop. Always live aboards or dive resorts to maximize bottom time. I dive alot locally. When we travel together, he loves to cruise, so I take my gear and my shore excursions are booked through the local dive shop or the boat. It's a compromise that works for us. He likes to snorkel so sometimes I will not dive afternoon dives and snorkel with him. He loves my underwater photos and hopes to learn to dive someday.
 
I have been married for 4 years. My husband doesn't dive. He's OK with my diving and I have a great bunch of dive buddies at the dive shop. I travel for diving on my own 2 - 4 times a year with the shop. Always live aboards or dive resorts to maximize bottom time. I dive alot locally. When we travel together, he loves to cruise, so I take my gear and my shore excursions are booked through the local dive shop or the boat. It's a compromise that works for us. He likes to snorkel so sometimes I will not dive afternoon dives and snorkel with him. He loves my underwater photos and hopes to learn to dive someday.
 
well for me diving was the last straw too,,
so lets say you should always try to do things together and don't let the sport get in the way of the marriage.
trips are great if lets say you do a a.m. dive and then do some sights or tours in the afternoon.most boats have a bubble watcher fee,but for a non diver it may become boring after while.
I now have a gal pal that loves to dive and wow its a blast to have one that loves our kid's and the sport as much as I do because summers are so short lost of diving is done in a few short months locally.
my 2 cents
 
To: Original Poster:
Your marriage is the most important thing, Do not do anything to compromise your marriage.
Scuba is fun and wonderful, but it is way down on the priority list. If you find this issue being divisive its time to ditch scuba.

I know some of us find this hard to believe but we can live without scuba.
 
Married now for 29 years to non-diving spouse. All your suggestions are right on. The key is to not stick to just one solution. Sometimes I go with dive buddies, sometimes I find locations which will have interesting options for him. However, I still haven't figured out how to accomplish the live aboard trip, just yet.
 
I married a chick with 3 kids. I said I'll help you raise your kids as my own, just as long as you never ask me to give up diving. So far so good.
 

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