"Helpful" male dive buddies

[sphyrnidus]

Interesting thread... My SO, a DM, would probably bite the arm off of a guy touching her gear unasked for. As it is, she was member of a dive club here in the Netherlands. At that time she was AO with 900+ dives and in training to become a DM. The instructor of said club was exactly the kind of male that thought he was simply the best. While he was the instructor, he had far less dives than my SO had and was also less knowledgeable about a lot of things. So this "instructor" gathered a group around him of people (only man) that agreed with him on every aspect. While he was not the president of this club, he acted like he owned it. In the end a lot of people left and started their own club. But before that, my SO had to finnish her DM training and although she had done everything right, he still wouldn't let her pass the test, simply because she stood up to him. She did finally did the exam with another instructor and it was very much ok. I was never a member of this club, but I accompanied her quite often and it was amazing how patronizing this guy was towards women.
This guy was working in the armed forces as a civilian and I've met the type before, they somehow are frustrated quite often, they're not the real thing.

Now she has to help me, getting my gear on, instead of me helping her, because I had two accidents with both my shoulders and can't move my arms backwards far enough to put the tank on my back
But I do carry her tank to the filling station... Also in the water she almost always leads the dive as I'm filming and she pays attention to navigating, which is somewhat difficult in the murky waters we dive in quite often.

 

[oldschoolto]

I find this whole don't touch my gear thing is strange... When I started diving I was 12 and it was always solo.... I learned it from a book... years later when I started skydiving I learned about watching out for the other guy.... gear checks were done as a normal part of jumping... we were always looking at others gear looking for a problem.... You may have three different people give you a pin check on a jump.... maybe it's because when you left the plane you were only 60 seconds from death if things didn't go right... My hands have been in the crotches of hot young girls and fat old men... It's a simple gear check... get over it....

Jim...

 

[sphyrnidus]

If diving with a buddy an you do buddy check, fine. But if you're not the buddy and a relative stranger, who starts fooling around, unasked and uninvited, you would be out of bounds. If you would tell me, so and so is wrong or entangeld that would be nice, but if you start melding uninvited, you over step the line.

 

[drbill]

It's a simple gear check... get over it....

Quite a difference between a "simple gear check" by a buddy or instructor/DM and what the original post was about. However, I must admit I wouldn't mind some hot young ladies (you know, say in their 40s) touching my SCUBA gear.

 

[Quero]

I've been accused in the past of "getting too friendly" when all I intended was (as the resident marine biologist on board a dive boat) provide information about the critters divers were seeing. Funny, none of the men complained when I did it. Some times some women can be a bit too sensitive about a situation.

I must admit I wouldn't mind some hot young ladies (you know, say in their 40s) touching my SCUBA gear.

When men adopt this sort of creepy attitude, it puts women off and makes the men appear to be overly "friendly" on dive boats. Most of us don't board a dive boat expecting to get hit on.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

When men adopt this sort of creepy attitude, it puts women off and makes the men appear to be overly "friendly" on dive boats. Most of us don't board a dive boat expecting to get hit on.

Speaking as someone who's now married and wasn't the socially aggressive type even before, that's just too bad (for both sides of the exchange, really). If it bothers a woman, I'm sure she's capable of indicating her lack of interest. Nobody has the right to go through life (or a dive excursion) unoffended...so absent someone crossing the line and touching, not a lot of sympathy here.

That said, I think I have a sense of what you're talking about and watching more extroverted people engage in this sort of obviously (to everyone but them) unwelcome hammishness with total strangers is almost always cringe-inducing. I often can't decide whether to mock them for thinking anyone would welcome their interjections, or, respect their bullish, 'even one success out of 100 tries is still a success!' approach.

 

[Quero]

I can agree with all of this Dr L. Unfortunately, we get subjected to this a couple of times and it puts us on our guard for future times.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

Unfortunately, we get subjected to this a couple of times and it puts us on our guard for future times.

And yet somehow, the global population continues to increase. The mind boggles.

 

[Quero]

And yet somehow, the global population continues to increase. The mind boggles.

There are times and places for seeking sexual partners for the purpose of procreation. For most women, it's not on a dive boat right before a dive.

However, none of this speaks to the OP's point, which was that the men on the boat she was diving from somehow felt justified in checking her readiness to dive even when the woman in question was not their buddy, and when they did not do the same for the other men who were not their buddies. This is paternalistic behavior and is generally not appreciated by women.

 

[drbill]

When men adopt this sort of creepy attitude, it puts women off and makes the men appear to be overly "friendly" on dive boats. Most of us don't board a dive boat expecting to get hit on.

Referring to my behavior? I certainly wouldn't call it creepy. Maybe I misread the intent of your post... or was it my humor that offended? I think the vast majority of women who actually know me consider me to be a gentleman.

The issue referenced in the original post is certainly creepy.