Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

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blackvans1234

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My buddy and I are shore diving, doing our surface swim out to the reef

Swimming along as Jet skis whiz by us and our flag.
We look over and there's a boat speeding along
My buddy, "This might hurt a little"


During my OW class, pool session, my sister is about to do a 'back roll' entry into the pool, from a squatting position and ends up doing more of a back flop
DM- "eh close enough"
 

blackvans1234

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Oh yea, after my buddy waded out and tossed the lobster bodies back into the ocean a guy came over and was like, "Oh were they too small?"

heh
 

Paco

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Read all 58 pages over the last couple days and I´ll say that some of the funniest posts were also the most worrisome. Think of the (presumably certified) diver that did know she had to inhale to get air from her second stage and many other posts that were funny but showed incompetence.

Here´s one I did not read. When fitting students for their dive gear, DM asks students their shoe size. Student says "size 13 mens" to which the DM says "oh, then you won't be needing fins."
 

LanceLisenby

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on a bad jellyfish day a guy asked if anyone saw any peanutbutter fish on the dive and a girl immediately opened her marine fish guide to look up the illusive pb fish....she realized the joke very quickly and we all had a good laugh - her too.
 

Ulsterkiwi

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My partner and I were on a weekend trip to a city which has a pretty good aquarium in it. They offer snorkel swims in the main tank which has a few sharks in it amongst other species.
One of the workers was giving us a briefing on how to behave in the water. "oh and dont forget, DONT touch the sharks, they dont like it..."
My partner pipes up..."has anyone told the sharks not to touch ME because I dont like that??"
 

Griff..

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When asking students to spit in their masks for the first time..
the girls usually respond with an "ewwwwwwwwwww"

I then like to say "come on, its the only time we ask you woman to spit"

James
 

Deefstes

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When asking students to spit in their masks for the first time.. the girls usually respond with an "ewwwwwwwwwww" I then like to say "come on, its the only time we ask you woman to spit" James
And has it occurred to you that at least some of these girls might actually be decent ladies worthy of respect or do you just assume that all women are cheap tarts who like to be drawn into jokes about oral sex?
 
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