Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[Clammy]

If you want to get real technical, Drowning is teh process of taking water into your lungs, not death resulting from the water in your lungs. So it is possible to drown without dying.

Drowning by definition has nothing to do with water entering the lungs but by suffocation due to submersion. This also means dry drownings underwater where no water actually enters the lungs at all because your body shuts off the airway.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I imagine it would be a bit difficult to dive in water at 16F.

Shortly before a dive, I was using a bit of shampoo to coat my mask. I held out the bottle to a lady in the group and said 'Shampoo?'. She replied, 'No thanks. I've already washed my hair.'

:blush:Ooops obviously meant to say 16C :dork:Brain fart!:doh2:Thanks for catching that for me!

 

[kadleck]

if you're lucky enough to fly anywhere on a G-V, it's pressurized down to something like 5,000 or 6,000 ft. which helps reduce jet lag.

FWIW, Concorde was too (for the same reason). When you consider that it flew at over 60000 ft, that was a real strain on the airframe.

(apologies for the off-topic interludes)

 

[SkipperJohn]

Pearldiver that's the funniest one yet....

In honor of dumb stuff that people believe, I have to tell this.

A couple of years ago after church we asked our kids where they wanted to go for lunch and they said Hooters (yes I get the irony). The Hooters near us is on a small creek and after we had finished eating the kids asked to go look at the water.

Our waitress... (who was qualified to work there!) over hears them and asks.."Would they like some crackers to feed the oysters?" I just sat there, and looked at her, confused, and then politely said "yes???".

I look at my husband and ask.."did she just say crackers to feed the OYSTERS?" He validated that my hearing was not failing. I think she MUST have meant "oyster crackers" to feed the FISH.

She comes back to the table with several packages of Oyster crackers and begins to explain to us that these are SPECIAL crackers for feeding the Oysters. That there is an oyster bed at the end of the dock and you crumble up the crackers and feed them... OK? (Imagine cute tilt of head here)

If I hadn't been so shocked I might have asked her if they detatch from the bed and come up to the surface to snap at the food. However, I just sat there with a stunned look on my face, realizing that this is why drunks should not be allowed "teach" Hooters waitresses anything.

We still joke about the Oyster crackers being "special food" for oysters every time we have them now.

I can only imagine what she thinks chicken wire and pussy willows are used for.

 

[sabbath999]

I can only imagine what she thinks chicken wire and pussy willows are used for.

Oh my

 

[sunkmail]

Drowning by definition has nothing to do with water entering the lungs but by suffocation due to submersion. This also means dry drownings underwater where no water actually enters the lungs at all because your body shuts off the airway.

Upon checking a medical resource:

"According to the World Health Organization, "Drowning is the process of experiencing respiratory impairment from submersion/immersion in liquid." The possible outcomes of drowning are classified as death, morbidity (the development of disability or injury), and no morbidity.

This relatively simple definition was agreed upon at the 2002 World Congress of Drowning held in Amsterdam."


So drowning does not 'neccissarily' mean death

 

[Clammy]

Upon checking a medical resource:

"According to the World Health Organization, "Drowning is the process of experiencing respiratory impairment from submersion/immersion in liquid." The possible outcomes of drowning are classified as death, morbidity (the development of disability or injury), and no morbidity.

This relatively simple definition was agreed upon at the 2002 World Congress of Drowning held in Amsterdam."


So drowning does not 'neccissarily' mean death

But.... I didn't say anything about death! I was just pointing out that drowning doesn't mean water in the lungs necessarily, merely suffocation (which would be respiratory impairment) which doesn't necessarily mean death either.

 

[tiggrr]

While we were all gearing up, a newbie walked up to the Captain and said, "Who is the DM? Who is going to tell me when it time to come up?" He then informed us all of his dives were with his family in the Red Sea and that is how they dive. They just tell him when its time to come up.

 

[fisheater]

While we were all gearing up, a newbie walked up to the Captain and said, "Who is the DM? Who is going to tell me when it time to come up?" He then informed us all of his dives were with his family in the Red Sea and that is how they dive. They just tell him when its time to come up.

Oh my!

 

[potato cod]

Exchange on a dive boat in the Bahamas:

diver: what's our elevation here?
DM: (looks over the side of the boat at the ocean): about 2 feet.