Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[Chernish]

DM: "... and the last commandment of diving is: Thou shall NOT pee in a rental suit"
Diver: "I'd rather pee in a rental suit than in mine"

 

[jdcpa]

While on a recent trip, we had one of those, know it all, been there done that types that did not mind telling everyone everything.

After a few days of experiencing this one of the DM's turns to him and says "I am amazed you can get underwater being that full of hot air".

The boat exploded in cheers!!

 

[jdcpa]

A few others:

Does the island go all the way around?

How long does it take to swim under the island?

From the boat: What island is that?

 

[DiverLS]

A long time ago I was boat diving and got a buddy "just finished my OW". There was current so we planned our dive accordingly, down the stern line then swim into the current. So we started down the current line and SHE LET GO. So I tried to get her to do the "finger walk" to get back to the anchor line. She shook her head no and promptly swam off to the side banging her tank on the top and both sides of a swim through, silting up the water. When we finally did get back on board, I asked her why she wouldn't do the finger walk. Her answer "I don't want to damage the reef." Yep - found a new buddy.

 

[Clammy]

A few others:

Does the island go all the way around?

How long does it take to swim under the island?

From the boat: What island is that?

I'm confused, what's funny about the "What island is that?"

 

[Ravzie]

A couple of snorkelers were on the boat last year out of Key Largo. The guy asked me, "What do you guys do down there, just walk around on the bottom?"

 

[Teamcasa]

On the Big Island of Hawaii, I had a Divemaster refer to a boat full of snorkelers as PDV’s.

Potential Drowning Victims.

 

[diver_paula]

I'm confused, what's funny about the "What island is that?"

My assumption... the diver was staying on the island and had just left it via the boat.

 

[Scott]

I noticed a fellow on a dive boat once that was closely scrutinizing his regulator (black with a black hose) and his alternate (yellow with a yellow hose). After a bit, while holding his alternate, he says to his companion, " This one is mine, right?"

I do things like that on trips so I can see what reaction I can get on deck or I'll say 'I breathe through this right'?

 

[divekraz]

I was diving in the Cayman's and the dive master had one leg. A woman diver who looked to be around 50yrs old asked how she would recognize him under the water. With a straight face he said to look for the diver with a yellow fin.