End of 2019 and thoughts for 2020

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Wow... I mean, seriously wow. A couple of those paragraphs were intense, granted your reality was way more intense.

Caves have never been my thing, the ocean is my life. I met a few GUE divers in the 90's through rec scuba. Didn't quite "share" dives with them but did dive from the same charters many times and shared after-dive meals out of Boynton. Pretty soon I started resent them for the way they could suck the fun out of diving, I'm glad my brain is immune to this search for perfection when it comes to fun and pleasure.
A very good friend of mine used to carry tanks for them in Wakulla, every so often he was allowed to actually take 1 or 2 bottles to some stop few feet in whatever leg of the cave they were doing. They just got to him, he worried so much about being just perfect underwater, he no longer dives.

I thought of him reading what you describe about being so close to "IT" but oh no, you're not good enough yet. Go back invest more time and money, you are still not worthy to enjoy this ride. Pffffff doesn't sound like fun at all. No wonder some people used to accuse them of being a cult.

Glad to read you and your wife enjoy caves now.

Yikes. I have friends who in the midst of GUE tech training. Friend told me they moved D rings a wee bit as it was much easier to clip things on with that very small adjustment. I was told instructor did NOT like it at all, and made student move D rings back to original location. Didn’t matter that then made clipping more difficult. Student sounded just totally frustrated with the entire situation. I can’t imagine. Perfect is the only possible result. “Good enough” isn’t. No, thank you. Perfect seems to suck the fun out of diving. Good enough works for me.
 
2019:
- Fewer dives than I'd hoped, maybe 20 or so. I dove January 1 and 2, but then it tapered off.
- Some nice clear ones January to March. In clear 40' vis water between kelp columns in the near distance, hovering at 30' above a 50' bottom, wondering where to explore next. In the shallows, a layer of tiny baby fish along the bottom, hovering beside and a little bit within them. Both at North Monastery.
- A sidemount workshop suggested I'm ok at it :).
- Some pool time playing with full size tanks, AL80s.
- My tiny doubles gained an isolator bar, which still needs to get wet.
- Got most of the tools to rebuild one of my 1st stages, but will mail it off instead of keeping it in a box.

2020:
- More dives, maybe some boat. Get a boat coat for the winter ones.
- More pool time playing with skills.
- Mexico or Florida for fundies-ish, cavern, and maybe solo.
 
2020 - convince my dive buddy (daughter) to try the quarry rather than diving only on vacation in Florida, Hawaii, Mexico, or Caribbean.
 
2019:
Pushed Tsulton Rising
Pushing an old BC cave last week

Finally saw the wreck of Kamloops 225ft to 265ft deep in Lake Superior (headed into the engine room below)
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Pushed Reappearing River to 254ft
A BC cave

2020
Will be diving in Swedish and Norwegian caves this winter plus returning to Tsulton Rising and Reappearing River in the summer.
 
My 2019 included intense training. CCR Mine diver, CCR MOD2 and CCR Cave courses. Had an opportunity to participate in an amazing wreck diving project.
2020: Definitely less training. Hopefully a dive trip to some amazing location and frequenting our local mines.
 
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