I've been reading this thread from the beginning and debating whether or not I should jump in with an opinion. After reading the thread, I've come to the conclusion that both parties are at fault in some way, shape, or form.
The OP should have listened to and followed the dive plan as per the DM, and not exceed max depths etc. Even if it a DM or guide making the plan, it is the plan to be followed, unless it was discussed with the shop/DM prior to the dive that you would not be following them, and doing your own dive. But this was clearly not the case, and the OP and buddy are at fault for nearing/going into deco (I'm still not clear on this... from the sounds of it, the OP's buddy went into deco and had a mandatory stop. Please correct me if I misunderstood). If it were a dive time of 45 minutes, then you have 45 minutes to get your butt back into the boat, I'm sorry. That includes safety stops. If you saw that you and your buddy were getting close to NDL limits, why did you not ascend earlier and maybe spend some time 10-15ft above the rest of the group?
While the dive plan may have been set out by a dive professional, it is still your responsibility to follow it. You are responsible for you underwater (and out funnily enough), so take responsibility. It is not the DMs job to baby-sit, and I have been out on boats where they have had to. If I have an insta-buddy, I am not afraid to ask to see their computer to see what they have left for NDL and compare it against mine. We go with the more conservative computer. So, if your buddy entered deco, neither of you were paying attention to his computer.
Was the DM right in the way he treated you? No, he shouldn't have gotten angry (not in front of other customers anyway), but at the same time I can see why he did. You and your buddy made quite a few mistakes during the dives. You blatantly disregarded the agreed upon plan, violated max depths, violated computers, and violated the dive times. If you needed a 5 minute deco (which shouldn't have happened) or wanted the 3 minute safety stop (which i don't blame you for) at 40-42 minutes, you should have been at 15-20 ft doing your stops, not starting them at 45 minutes.
The OP should have listened to and followed the dive plan as per the DM, and not exceed max depths etc. Even if it a DM or guide making the plan, it is the plan to be followed, unless it was discussed with the shop/DM prior to the dive that you would not be following them, and doing your own dive. But this was clearly not the case, and the OP and buddy are at fault for nearing/going into deco (I'm still not clear on this... from the sounds of it, the OP's buddy went into deco and had a mandatory stop. Please correct me if I misunderstood). If it were a dive time of 45 minutes, then you have 45 minutes to get your butt back into the boat, I'm sorry. That includes safety stops. If you saw that you and your buddy were getting close to NDL limits, why did you not ascend earlier and maybe spend some time 10-15ft above the rest of the group?
While the dive plan may have been set out by a dive professional, it is still your responsibility to follow it. You are responsible for you underwater (and out funnily enough), so take responsibility. It is not the DMs job to baby-sit, and I have been out on boats where they have had to. If I have an insta-buddy, I am not afraid to ask to see their computer to see what they have left for NDL and compare it against mine. We go with the more conservative computer. So, if your buddy entered deco, neither of you were paying attention to his computer.
Was the DM right in the way he treated you? No, he shouldn't have gotten angry (not in front of other customers anyway), but at the same time I can see why he did. You and your buddy made quite a few mistakes during the dives. You blatantly disregarded the agreed upon plan, violated max depths, violated computers, and violated the dive times. If you needed a 5 minute deco (which shouldn't have happened) or wanted the 3 minute safety stop (which i don't blame you for) at 40-42 minutes, you should have been at 15-20 ft doing your stops, not starting them at 45 minutes.