I really don't understand the OP's complaints. I would think solutions to a lot of the "rushes" are quite simple (other may be more difficult or expensive).
Don't stay at a hotel. Get an AirBnB and wake up around 4:00 AM and make breakfast. Keep the pan high off the burner so the eggs can get relaxed before they are fried. Isn't there a horse drawn carriage company? Hire them to take you to the marina. Get there around 7:30, and mosey on over to the boat and relax while the rest of the folks show up. I think the bathrooms are open 24 hours, so you can take a very relaxed constitutional.
Now, getting the boat to slow down will be difficult, but this will give you some freedom, too. While the boat is rushing to the reefs, leisurely put on your gear. Then you can nap while the others put on theirs. After they all backroll in at the same time (which I've never actually seen simultaneous backrolls), wait... Maybe do a forward roll while everyone is getting to the bottom. Take your time and let the upper level current take you where it wants - you will have plenty of time to relax while the boat searches for you at the end of the dive.
Don't worry about getting out of the heavy gear. You will have at least 30 minutes to do this while other are rushing to eat snacks and do a bathroom break during the surface interval. Now that you're out of your gear, you can start putting it back on before everyone else starts the bum's rush to get theirs on for the second dive. Again, take your time getting in and getting down. You will once again have a long, refreshing float while the boat tries to find you.
Of course, the easiest solution is to charter a boat for yourself and whomever else you wish to join you. Leave when you want, dive when you want, and return when you want (within reason), without holding up other people that want to get more out of their day.
Don't stay at a hotel. Get an AirBnB and wake up around 4:00 AM and make breakfast. Keep the pan high off the burner so the eggs can get relaxed before they are fried. Isn't there a horse drawn carriage company? Hire them to take you to the marina. Get there around 7:30, and mosey on over to the boat and relax while the rest of the folks show up. I think the bathrooms are open 24 hours, so you can take a very relaxed constitutional.
Now, getting the boat to slow down will be difficult, but this will give you some freedom, too. While the boat is rushing to the reefs, leisurely put on your gear. Then you can nap while the others put on theirs. After they all backroll in at the same time (which I've never actually seen simultaneous backrolls), wait... Maybe do a forward roll while everyone is getting to the bottom. Take your time and let the upper level current take you where it wants - you will have plenty of time to relax while the boat searches for you at the end of the dive.
Don't worry about getting out of the heavy gear. You will have at least 30 minutes to do this while other are rushing to eat snacks and do a bathroom break during the surface interval. Now that you're out of your gear, you can start putting it back on before everyone else starts the bum's rush to get theirs on for the second dive. Again, take your time getting in and getting down. You will once again have a long, refreshing float while the boat tries to find you.
Of course, the easiest solution is to charter a boat for yourself and whomever else you wish to join you. Leave when you want, dive when you want, and return when you want (within reason), without holding up other people that want to get more out of their day.