Blonde

[kilo_fox]

Q. Why did the blonde couple die at the drive in?
A. They went to see "Closed For Winter."

Q. If a dumb blonde, smart blonde, and Santa Claus jumped off a bridge, which one would make the biggest splash?
A. The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist.

Q. Why did the blonde keep her baby in the same diaper for a month?
A. On the package it said 'good for up to 20 pounds.'

Q. What's a blonde's cheer?
A. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....um...oh well, I'm blonde, YEAH!!!

 

[kilo_fox]

A blonde, brunette and redhead all work for the same woman. Each day their boss leaves early. She never checks on them, so one day they all decide to leave early too, once their boss is gone. The brunette goes home and takes a nice long bath. The redhead goes out and sees a movie. The blonde goes home to find her husband. As she walked into their bedroom, she sees her boss in bed with her husband. Before they see her she quickly leaves. The next day at work, the three women were talking about what they did after leaving early. When it was the blonde's turn, she said, "I don't think we should leave early like that again. I almost got caught."

 

[santafejoe]

Both were funny

 

[alchemist1024]

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every
single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.

The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with
her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells
"Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her
composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told
you I broke every bone in my body."

The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss,"
he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is,
you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken
your finger."

 

[santafejoe]

 

[kilo_fox]

[FONT=&quot]Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde. The guard brought the first woman, the brunette, forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests. She said no and the executioner shouted.....Ready.....Aim..... and suddenly the brunette yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!" Everyone was startled and looked around. She escaped. So they brought up the redhead and asked if she had any last requests. She said no, and the executioner shouted....Ready...Aim...... and suddenly the redhead yelled..... "TORNADO!" Everyone was startled and looked around. She escaped. Well, by now, the blonde had it all figured out. They brought her forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests. She said no and the executioner shouted ....Ready....Aim...!! and the blonde yelled, "FIRE!"[/FONT]

 

[santafejoe]

Now that Blonde was a . LMFAO

 

[emcbride81]

I love this thread!

 

[CenTexDivin]

Why do blondes wear ponytails?

_{To hide the valve stems.}

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?

_{An air pocket.}

How do you drown a blonde?

_{Put a scratch n sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.}

Did you hear about the blonde that invented a solar flashlight?

 

[MMM]

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other,"Which do you think is farther away.. Florida or the moon?".

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"said the Russian. The Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

BLONDES AND RELIGION

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

The clerk says, "What denomination? "

The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO. .," answered the blond. "They're watch
dogs!"