Blonde
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m3830431
Contributor
Blonde Inventions
1.Tricycle kickstand
2.Solar flashlight
3.Fire proof matches
4.Inflatable dartboard
5.Glass hammer
6.Black light bulb
7.Boomerang grenade
1.Tricycle kickstand
2.Solar flashlight
3.Fire proof matches
4.Inflatable dartboard
5.Glass hammer
6.Black light bulb
7.Boomerang grenade
k8brandt
Contributor
Artery. . . . . . . . . . . . . Study of Painting
Bacteria. . . . . . . . . . . . Back door to the cafeteria
Barium. . . . . . . . . . . . . What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel . . . . . . . . . . . . . A letter like A, E, I, O, or U
Caesarean Section . . . . . . . A district in Rome
Catheter. . . . . . . . . . . . String instruments
Cat Scan. . . . . . . . . . . . Searching for kitty
Cauterize . . . . . . . . . . . Made eye contact with her
Colic . . . . . . . . . . . . . A sheep dog
Congenital. . . . . . . . . . . Friendly
D & C . . . . . . . . . . . . . Where the White House is
Dilate. . . . . . . . . . . . . To live long
Enema . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not a friend
Fester. . . . . . . . . . . . . Quicker
Fibula. . . . . . . . . . . . . Small lie
Genital . . . . . . . . . . . . Non Jewish
G I Series. . . . . . . . . . . Soldier baseball
Grippe. . . . . . . . . . . . . Suitcase
Hangnail. . . . . . . . . . . . Coat hook
High Colonic. . . . . . . . . . Jewish religious holiday
Impotent. . . . . . . . . . . . Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain. . . . . . . . . . . Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff . . . . . . . . . Doctor's cane
Morbid. . . . . . . . . . . . . Higher offer
Nitrate . . . . . . . . . . . . Cheaper than the day rate
Node. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Was aware of
Outpatient. . . . . . . . . . . Person who has fainted
Pap Smear . . . . . . . . . . . Paternity test
Pelvis. . . . . . . . . . . . . Cousin of Elvis
Postoperative . . . . . . . . . Mail carrier
Prostate. . . . . . . . . . . . Flat on your back
Recovery Room . . . . . . . . . Place to do upholstery
Rectum. . . . . . . . . . . . . Dang near killed him!
Rheumatic . . . . . . . . . . . Amorous
Secretion . . . . . . . . . . . Hiding something
Seizure . . . . . . . . . . . . Roman emperor
Tablet. . . . . . . . . . . . . Small table
Terminal Illness. . . . . . . . Getting sick at the airport
Tibia . . . . . . . . . . . . . Country in North Africa
Tumor . . . . . . . . . . . . . More than one
Urine . . . . . . . . . . . . . Opposite of you're out
Varicose. . . . . . . . . . . . Near by
Vein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conceited
Bacteria. . . . . . . . . . . . Back door to the cafeteria
Barium. . . . . . . . . . . . . What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel . . . . . . . . . . . . . A letter like A, E, I, O, or U
Caesarean Section . . . . . . . A district in Rome
Catheter. . . . . . . . . . . . String instruments
Cat Scan. . . . . . . . . . . . Searching for kitty
Cauterize . . . . . . . . . . . Made eye contact with her
Colic . . . . . . . . . . . . . A sheep dog
Congenital. . . . . . . . . . . Friendly
D & C . . . . . . . . . . . . . Where the White House is
Dilate. . . . . . . . . . . . . To live long
Enema . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not a friend
Fester. . . . . . . . . . . . . Quicker
Fibula. . . . . . . . . . . . . Small lie
Genital . . . . . . . . . . . . Non Jewish
G I Series. . . . . . . . . . . Soldier baseball
Grippe. . . . . . . . . . . . . Suitcase
Hangnail. . . . . . . . . . . . Coat hook
High Colonic. . . . . . . . . . Jewish religious holiday
Impotent. . . . . . . . . . . . Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain. . . . . . . . . . . Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff . . . . . . . . . Doctor's cane
Morbid. . . . . . . . . . . . . Higher offer
Nitrate . . . . . . . . . . . . Cheaper than the day rate
Node. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Was aware of
Outpatient. . . . . . . . . . . Person who has fainted
Pap Smear . . . . . . . . . . . Paternity test
Pelvis. . . . . . . . . . . . . Cousin of Elvis
Postoperative . . . . . . . . . Mail carrier
Prostate. . . . . . . . . . . . Flat on your back
Recovery Room . . . . . . . . . Place to do upholstery
Rectum. . . . . . . . . . . . . Dang near killed him!
Rheumatic . . . . . . . . . . . Amorous
Secretion . . . . . . . . . . . Hiding something
Seizure . . . . . . . . . . . . Roman emperor
Tablet. . . . . . . . . . . . . Small table
Terminal Illness. . . . . . . . Getting sick at the airport
Tibia . . . . . . . . . . . . . Country in North Africa
Tumor . . . . . . . . . . . . . More than one
Urine . . . . . . . . . . . . . Opposite of you're out
Varicose. . . . . . . . . . . . Near by
Vein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conceited
DivingPrincessE
Contributor
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
m3830431
Contributor
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier..........
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they've no idea of the route.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.
Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.
A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier..........
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they've no idea of the route.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.
Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.
santafejoe
Contributor
alchemist1024
Registered
A blonde wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a handyman- type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch, how much will you charge?" he replied. The blonde said "How about $50.00 ?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladder were in the garage. The man's wife inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blond came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes, the blond answered and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats". Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.00 "and by the way the blond added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari".
m3830431
Contributor
m3830431
Contributor
there is a blonde, a brunette and a red head in a grade three class room...
Which one is the cutest?
......the blonde because shes eighteen
Which one is the cutest?
......the blonde because shes eighteen
[FONT="]A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."[/FONT]
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