Speaking as a non-DIR diver, in terms of attitudes, I find (like anything) you find huge discrepancies. There are some DIR divers who fit the OP's description well. Equally, I recently took a gas blending class and I was the only non-DIR diver in the room (including the instructor), but everyone was very friendly and happy to discuss "broader" approaches to mixing (or rather mixes), and no one criticised or judged (at least not openly).
Again, speaking as an outsider, I break DIR philosophy down into four components: equipment configuration (which everyone seems fixate on), fitness (which almost everyone seems to ignore), training (which I think most would agree tends to be more extensive and intensive than other approaches) and an ephemeral fourth category which I refer to as "attitude/approach".
I think it is the fourth category where tensions can easily arise.